(Or yes, "John Mayer is a douche bag")
I delayed posting anything about this because I was waiting for something in particular to happen. And I don’t think it ever did, or if it did, I couldn’t find anything on it.
What was I waiting for? I was waiting for a black man to address his comments about black women. When asked if black women throw themselves at him, John's reply:
"I don’t think I open myself to it. My d--- is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f-----’ David Duke c---. I’m going to start dating separately from my d---."
As if he could.
When asked their opinion on John’s recent comments in Playboy, almost every single black man, whether he was a famous celeb or Average Joe, immediately addressed his use of the “N-word” but not one thought to say anything about his thoughtless, disrespectful, and (at least mildly) hurtful comments about black women.
The closest I came to finding anything was this from Ahmir “?Uestlove” Thompson: "LOL then again on 2nd read ... can't wait to see spin on this. I swear his #1 demographic is the white dude black women would do in a second."
Really? Not cool ?uest, not cool.
John Mayer's words were definitely thoughtless because just a little bit of thinking would have reminded him of how this country (and a few others, I’ve found) have long mixed the ideology of hyper-sexualized black woman with black women being dirty, unclean, unsafe or otherwise undesirable. (and therefore, making rape and other acts of violence against us not only acceptable, but the recommended or preferred behavior.) I could get into the whole history and significance of this.
I could point out how this same inherited line of thinking might play a role in the complacency of black men with John’s words. Or maybe it’s not complacency. Maybe it’s more a result of the ongoing divide that still exists between a lot of black men and black women. Men stuck on the defensive with their own issues aren’t thinking about their greater purpose: to love, honor and protect us. Even ?uestlove’s comments inadvertently turned black women into whores. I’m sure he was meaning to point out how John took a dump on a so-called large fan base, but he failed to do so by suggesting black women would “do” him.
Some of these black men who failed to stand up and speak out are just barely a notch above John Mayer. There’s little difference between his disgust at being intimate with black women, and some black men's apparent disgust with us. How else do you explain the lack of support? You all are quick to try and lay down with us and tell us what you think we want to hear to get what you want, but how fast are you out the door when it’s over? I’m not specifically speaking about my own life here. I grew up with a great dad and have had great relationships, but I’m in a small minority with this among those women I know.
And I’m not suggesting that black women are blameless in all this, we certainly play our position in the program. Some of us (well, y’all) are so desperate for attention to have any man look at you, you will play right into the media script that’s been handed to you. Showing your ass is not cute, it’s just you looking like an idiot showing your ass. (Yeah, I said it.) So what if people try to treat you like you’re not worth more? The person who knows you best is supposed to be you, and in your educated opinion, what are you worth?
But it's not about us. And I mean really, who cares?
I read the whole article just to be able to assess it for myself, and it’s just a long line of evidence that there is in fact a very thin line between being clever and being stupid. The man thinks of Jessica Simpson as “sexual napalm” – is this evidence of stupidity, poor judgment or what? And isn’t every woman better after Jennifer Aniston who is basically Jay Leno with trendier hair. Clearly this is a man who would fall off of a black woman before he could even climb on properly.
Plus, John Mayer’s claim that "black people love me" is a bit faulty in reasoning. First, it doesn't even fit into the context of the discussion. He just needed to toss some other dumb one-liner up in the air hoping it would be a headline somewhere at some point. (and of course it was). Unless, he's just over-convinced that his appearance on the Dave Chappelle show (way back in 2004) is the reason for the "love." John Mayer is definitely not on the short list of white people that black people love- and probably not on the long list either… (In no particular order)--
Robert DeNiro (soul brother number one) ~ Al Pacino ~ Ben Stiller ~ Maury "You ARE the Father" Povich ~ Robin Thicke ~ Jimmy Fallon ~ Ellen DeGeneres ~ Martha Stewart ~ Brittany Daniel (“Kelly Pitts” from “the Game”) ~ Amber Rose (We love her so much, some of us won’t even acknowledge that she’s not black)
See there? Just named the first ten “hood approved” white people that popped into my head and no John Mayer.
Anyway, this is about as much attention and energy as I’m going to give to it. The whole incident is (un)officially a footnote in pop history and little more.
Talented Guy from the Dave Chappelle show, we hardly knew ye…