Friday, April 9, 2010

…These companies need to fold…

I wouldn’t wish unemployment on anyone but frankly some places don’t deserve our business. We work too hard for our money to blow it on poor quality goods, incompetent customer service, and all the other devices of retail rubbish.

Dots, Deb, and Victoria Secret

Over-priced, cheaply made clothes that don’t fit any one larger than 104 pounds and always have loose threads hanging off of them. (Whatever you do, don’t pull that thread!)

It’s no secret to my friends that I especially hate Victoria’s Secret. I’m still not clear on how you’re specialty can be underwear, but your bras seemed to be made for women with implants or other chicks that don’t really need bras. Surely you would be one of the few stores to be aware that women come in different sizes. Sometimes a small body needs a large cup and a little lift. And what’s with charging me to ship back a return when I should be able to just run right over to the store and return it? I already paid ten bucks to get it, now you want me to pay ten more to send it back because you don’t know that a large is a 12/14 and not a 5/6? The last thing I bought there was a keyring, and it wasn’t even the right size!

Sally’s Beauty Supply

I have yet to walk into a Sally’s Beauty Supply and not see several workers in a cluster having a conversation about nothing. And if it happens to be about something, it’s usually about how much they can’t stand the customers. And I’m guessing they do this proudly and loudly because there’s almost never anyone in there shopping. At the most I’ve seen maybe 3 customers in the place, but usually I’m all there is. And as soon as I find a place to buy cheaper applicator bottles, they will never see my face again. And are they required to hire one morbidly obese person that sits on a step stool/chair in the middle of aisle and pretend to stock the shelves? I’m not picking on fat people, I’m picking on lazy people that sit when they don’t need to and pretend to be working. Speaking of which…


Is there a such thing as “back lotion”? Because the manager at Walgreens’ seemed to think so. I went in looking for a hard- to- find body butter. The website directed me to this particular Walgreen’s where it took five employees to find the same empty shelf I pointed to 20 minutes earlier, stare at it, and then decide it wasn’t there. They seemed startled and perplexed by the suggestion of checking the stock room. This is pretty consistent across most Walgreen’s I visit: tons of people standing around with uniforms and name tags but no one knows anything or does any work. And they have the nerve to be over-priced on everything. They could probably come down a little on that if they fire at least half of those blue-shirt models they have standing around posing as employees.

Essence Magazine

Yeah I said it. I officially unsubscribed to the magazine years ago, and just recently unsubscribed to the online newsletter because I didn’t want to get another email titled “Make him marry you or else” or “What to look for in a man” Uh, hello, skanky backwards whores, it’s 2010. Surely our priorities have evolved beyond finding, banging, and keeping a man. Can a sister get more articles and information on business? Finance? Travel? And for all the conversation about tying down a loser so you can get knocked up, shouldn’t there be more to say about raising those brats properly? I see some bad a—kids at my job pretty regularly. And there’s always some jail expansion project going on somewhere. Anyone else starting to see a connection? Maybe. Either way, Essence used to be a magazine for the sophisticated and savvy black woman, and now it’s just a guide for ditzy, dude-hunting black broads everywhere. There was more substance and positivity in Smooth magazine and if that magazine is gone, then Essence should follow it.


The interesting thing about this one is that if the store closes very few people will be out of work. Think about it: have you ever seen a salesperson at Macy’s? I spend more time circling the store looking for someone to ring up my purchase than I do finding the clothes, trying them on, realizing they don’t fit right and starting over again. And what’s with the high prices? Half that stuff going to be at Marshall’s next month anyway, so you might as well bring the costs down now because you know you’ll have to bring it down later. And don’t even get me started on those on/off website sales. It was on sale this morning, and now it’s not, but don’t worry, it will be again in a few days- maybe. And please stop sending me emails about sales and special offers AFTER the sale and special offer has expired. That’s like me leaving out with the clothes on Saturday but not paying for them until Sunday.

Stuck in my head I don't really care for this song, but I think Fergie looks awesome in this video (for once) and I can't help but smile at the dancing robot. He's got skills, man.
My mom confessed that this song has been replaying all week in her head, too.


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