Friday, May 21, 2010

..Yeah, I Said it- - So What?

On being known as a beautiful Hollywood actress: “I’m sorry, but it’s sexy to know that guys find you attractive. It’s empowering.” - Zoe Saldana

A HUGE pet peeve of mine is when women start a sentence with “I’m sorry, but…”

Stop doing that. Don’t start or end (or otherwise insert into) your sentences the phrase “I’m sorry, but”

First of all, it’s insincere. As soon as you throw the word “but” in there you negate the so-called apology. So if you’ve really done something you’re sorry for, then be sorry, and be sincere. If you feel you must express your regrets, the proper phrasing would be, “I’m sorry and…”

But let’s say you aren’t sorry. Let’s say you’re trying to pull that meek and demure self effacing BS that isn’t really who you are and you know it. I’m curious to know what point you’re trying to make when you say it?

What exactly are your supposed to be sorry about? Because you said it? Because you meant it? Because the thought even popped into your head?

Assuming it’s really your own thought, you might as well own it.

I don’t agree with Zoe Saldana’s statement but if that’s how she feels I guess I respect it.

No wait, what I mean is that I just don’t care about it, but she has the right to express it like anyone else and I respect her act of expression.

Now, of course, I’m aware of the limitations. You can’t beat a kid or make a snuff film and call it “expression.” That’s pretty tacky. And I’m pretty sure illegal.

The problem is, it doesn’t feel like we do enough to encourage thinking and clear expression these days. And by thinking I don’t necessarily mean scheming to do dirt, or pre-meditating how to extend your face- time on a reality series, but “thinking” as in contemplation, philosophy, and working towards wisdom.

By clear expression I mean, speaking your mind assertively, respectfully, thoughtfully, and with passion.

Thinking and clear expression are two things I wish every kid could learn and every adult would utilize. And knowing when to quietly hug your thought to your heart is a good skill, too.

Not every thought is warranted, not all ideas are valid, not all opinions are helpful , and not all facts are meaningful, but it’s nice to have these thoughts out there to learn about and consider.

If you have something to say, say it! And don’t apologize for it! Life’s too short to not say what you mean. And you never know what your words might mean to someone, or make a positive difference in someone’s life. Maybe even your own.

"Reach down between my legs... ease the seat back..." (Van Halen "Panama")

It used to make me so sick to watch them eat, but this song was always cool.

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