Wednesday, September 15, 2010

...The Break's Over...

A few observations upon returning to work after a two-week vacation


  1. I think my job might be bad for my health. I ate breakfast every day and got more exercise on my vacation and all that immediately dropped off when I got back. I also noticed I haven’t been sleeping as well. Working at a job you don’t love is a slow suicide.
  2. I’m not as popular as I used to be. After being off for two weeks I came back to only 258 emails. I used to get about 100 messages a day. Granted, they were dumb messages that should have been directed elsewhere, but still… I’m so unloved.
  3. A weird thing happens if you bite down on your bottom lip and then suck on the flesh that’s in your mouth while still biting. Try it, you might like it. (Now stop it. You’ll regret it later)
The last time I took more than a few days off, on my first day back I went out to my car in the morning to find a one-legged frog parked in the next parking space. I looked around because I thought it was a prank. Then I glanced up because I thought it was the apocalypse. I loaded my library bag in the trunk and got a closer look.

It was definitely a frog. It was definitely missing a leg.

I went back inside to get the rest of my things (I’m working to cure my “bag lady” issues: lunch bag, messenger bag, and purse, which a co-worker once mistook for a diaper bag) and took a second look before driving off and wondering how he ended up there.

When I got home, he was still there, but he was very, very brown. It occurred to me that when I spotted him that morning he was only injured but still alive.

GOOD LORD! I KILLED IT!!

I wondered what if anything I could have done to save it, and I just don’t know if I could have. If I had “watered” it, would I essentially have boiled it? It was hot that day! Maybe it would have been a mercy killing…??? By the end of the week he had been run over on multiple occasions and crushed beyond recognition.

After some research I believe I found that it was a leopard frog. They run away from their home at the pond after mating. There are ponds in at least three directions from where I live so if that’s the case, then maybe he deserved to die. The lesson for him was “be a father to your child.” (Feel free to insert the Ed O.G. song here.)

Anyway, I remembered the frog because as I was returning to work this time I nearly ran over a turtle crossing the street at top turtle speed. You ever see a turtle run? Far more entertaining than it should be. Heck, I’m laughing now just remembering it. Fortunately I missed him, but the street’s a fairly busy one considering it’s somewhat of a back road so I’m hoping he was lucky. Luckier than the frog anyway.

And luckier than the pet turtle I had in elementary school, Sampson.

What do we learn from the turtle?

Behold the turtle! She reaches her goal by pacing herself, but she only makes progress if she sticks her neck out.

I’ll remember that this week as I get back into the groove of things at work. This job is starting to feel like stripping: I’m doing it to pay the bills but it’s not my life and it doesn’t define me. Or so they say.

I made a lot of progress with my other projects while I was off (the fiction, and working again on the lingerie line), and I can’t get distracted. I’m going to maintain that same razor sharp focus that I had when I—oh wow, what’s that??

Busy week for earworms...
First, because who doesn't love an awesome sample from The Doors~
 


Because I'm sure my mother secretly wrote this song...


In honor of the frog, the turtles, and the Electrifying Mojo

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