Wednesday, November 17, 2010

...November is NOT Nitwit Month...

Little odd things have popped up more within the last few weeks that made me think there had been some kind of national declaration to act a fool this month. Let me assure that is not true. November is not Nitwit Month, nor is December, or January, and if you really like to plan ahead, February through October are out of the question as well.


George Bush

You cheated your way into office- twice, sucked an entire country’s economy into the gutter, and started a second Vietnam but “one of the most disgusting” moment of your presidency was when Kanye West said, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people”? Really? That was on your list?

Dude.

What he must have been thinking: “Ha, ha. From all the way up here they look just like little black ants drowning. Hee hee hee.”

It’s called the truth. It could have been said in a different place, in a different time, by a different person but it still would have been the truth. If you find that “disgusting” well then that explains a lot of your choices during your presidency. Why are you even still thinking about it to the point that you felt the need to address it in the book? There’s your other problem: your priorities are all screwed up. And just to be clear, the most disgusting moment of your presidency was January 20, 2001. And every day thereafter until January 19, 2009.

The Today Show

I know it’s standard for you to play those clips. That’s how you incite those nice little clips and soundbytes of someone sounding deranged that can be replayed everywhere ad nauseam. Don’t be mad because you were called on it. Just do better.

Kanye West.

You are talented enough to just put out music and do some performances. With regard to doing interviews to promote this upcoming CD, maybe you should just sit this one out. Find a good friend to talk things out if you have something to say. Speak into a recorder, or hell you could email me if you need to, but in general, the less you say, the better. And this…

No.

If you’re doing the old “cultivate an air of eccentricity” thing, stop. Controversy kind of follows you, you don’t have to bait it for fun. It’s like throwing fish at a bear to make it go away. Not the smartest option available to you.

You don’t have to play into people’s perception of you. When it’s all wrong, let it be all wrong and correct it using only your amazing talent. Next thing we know, you’ll be walking down a street, stripping off your clothes with words on your back pretending it’s an important message. And then we’re going to have a serious problem. (Right after I get done taking pictures. I’m still a girl. And you’re still very handsome.)

Jessica Simpson

Because apparently being a successful businesswoman wasn’t doing it for her, she decided to go back to the attention-needy dipstick she was known for being. What little respect I had for her after her VH1 beauty around the world show is kaput. Good luck on your over publicized “engagement.” I guess we’ll know the wedding date three days after Nick Lachey announces his.

Kat Stacks

I kept hearing the name but didn’t have enough interest to look into it further. And then I heard the tail end of a story about her facing deportation. My damned curiosity on that led me to more than I wanted to know.

My initial reaction was confusion. I had to do some deeper digging to find out what it was. Apparently, it is a female. Allegedly. I’m still not 100% for sure.

And I don’t mean that in a vicious way, I just really could not tell from the pictures. I found a link to a video that’s supposed to show undisputed evidence that it’s a girl, but I haven’t worked up the nerve to look at it yet. Like a fool, I go on digging only to become even more confused.

If all she does is contact rappers, sleep with them, and then report the gory details, who are all the dumb rappers responding to her tweets and emails? How dumb do you have to be to be outsmarted by this, uh, “chick”? Even George Bush thinks your dumb for talking to this person.



Now we know what he was laughing about.

When I was a kid I invented something I called "the dummy pill."

 If you participate in enough foolery, say up to ten episodes of stupidity where no one gets hurt, or less if someone does, then on the 11th incident we put this pill in your food. Within 24 hours you spontaneously combust. I remember telling my dad and he reminded me that Alfred Nobel had nothing but the best intentions when he came up with dynamite.

But it’s stuff like this that makes me look forward to the Angel Peace Prize.

Tell the truth and shame the devil


Ever since my car radio bit the dust, the earworms have been crazy rampant. Sorry about that.

Slick Rick “Children’s Story” -Too bad the video was crap, but the song will always be awesome.(And I still know every word)


Kwame Ownlee Eue. I'm sad to confess to having similar wardrobe once upon a time.


Jungle Brothers "What U Waitin 4"  - From back before my girl parts sprouted and I could still dance like this. And fake Don Cornelius is too funny.

Jungle Brothers - What U Waiting 4
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