Sunday, December 19, 2010

...Some Jokes Write Themselves...

My Sean John email said Gifts for "Under $50"

I clicked on the link and this popped up...


After I hit the scroll I realized they meant the “clothes” but considering how horrid his woman’s line is, I almost thought they meant the women. Don’t they all look like they could be bought for under $50?

And yes, I’m going to keep complaining until it changes. I've been a loyal customer for years, but only because I don't mind wearing men's clothes. Hookers don’t buy Sean John, so stop trying to dress Sean John buyers like hookers. I am a lady, thank you.

Urban designers everywhere, take note:
  • Hugging = good
  • Squeezing = bad
It's nice to have clothes that hug and flatter the shape. Anything that looks like it will explode or shred if I eat a cracker while I'm wearing it is not so nice. A few more pointers:
  • I should be able to sit, squat, or bend over in it without filling the world with all my, uh... glory.
  • Nothing wrong with something you can throw a cardigan style sweater over and wear to work. (If you spend too much time with women that live off of child support, it's easy to forget that some ladies are gainfully employed)
  • The less spandex, the better.
  • Imagine that you are designing for a beautiful woman with healthy self esteem on her way to the library; not an insecure chick using clothes to reconstruct her figure on her way to the club... to find a husband.
To be fair, it's not just Sean John. I've noticed a severe lack of options from certain clothing lines geared towards certain audiences. What exactly are you trying to say you think of me when you make these types of clothes? You should respect me a little more than that. It's one thing to get it from Regis Philbin, but I shouldn't have to get it from you.  Try to remember that there's a head on top of the body; with a brain it it. I use it to decide where I will spend my money. If nothing else, respect that. (I know you understand money.)

It's all in love. And this is about jokes.

So now, you try one. What joke did you come up with for this:
The problem with trying to make a living off of your looks is that something not good always inevitably happens to your looks. Her career is up in flames. (I know that was corny, but I swear I couldn't hold it.)

Jokes aside, that Last Train to Paris CD is definitely worth the buy. It might be his best so far.

This time you can skip the deluxe version because the bonus tracks are obviously leftovers from when this project was going in a different (read that: wrong) direction. The final product here is something else pretty spectacular. There’s a mature, sophisticated sound to it... definitely a timeless quality.  When it first popped up on the radar, it was supposed to be “techno” but I would venture to say that it’s more "trip hop."  Still rockin’ with the best, indeed.

Stand out songs are “I hate that you love me” “a$$ on the floor” and “Someone to love me” And possibly “Shades” which is weird because I usually can’t stand the sound of Lil Wayne’s voice and his content is filthy dirty as usual, but overall the song is good and Justin Timberlake shows what it really means to be multi-talented. Pick it up.

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