Wednesday, January 26, 2011

...I'm in a Bit of a Pickle, Dick...

I promise to not get used to using these movie lines but sometimes they work.

Here’s the dilemma

You have a good relationship with someone but it’s fairly distant, so maybe what you share is borderline minimal or surface. You still like the person, what you do share builds a bond between you, but you aren’t exactly joined at the hip and your “connection” is only so many layers deep.

You know the person kind of well, and you really like them, but there’s still some things you don’t know about them and some things they don’t know about you. And you assume they like you at least a little, but in this moment you can’t say for sure. So an opportunity presents itself. Do you:

   A) Tell them the truth even though it might make them flip out with cornucopia of bad emotions. And at the least it might embarrass the hell out of you, at the most it will leave you humiliated and ashamed.

   B) Continue with the lie omission of information and hope they don’t notice or hope that you can somehow pull off some major stunt without them being any the wiser

   C) Make up some excuse or otherwise find a way to avoid the situation all together, effectively running away without letting the cat out of the bag, but probably ruining something special

I’m thinking the third choice isn’t a last resort, it’s just out of the question. Mostly because it would mean that I didn’t even really bother to try. Which would mean I would be kicking myself forever wondering what could have been.

But I guess that’s true for any choice we make.

Still the third one would be the easiest for me so that probably means it’s the cop out option and I prefer to make a bad choice and deal with it instead of making no choice at all. (And what is running away but choosing not to choose?)

That leaves me with the other two options.

The second option could work, but only if it works, get it? Let’s say I fail to pull off this amazing stunt. I suppose I could still come clean later. Or maybe it would fail so miserably that I wouldn’t even have the chance to confess. The other person might give me a weird eye and then run off without ever speaking to me again.

But that could happen with the first choice, too.

If I fail with the second choice and scare them off then it will be because I put up a sloppy façade. That would just suck.

If I fail with the first choice and scare them off, then it will be because of me….because of who I am. That would just be devastating.

So now the (somewhat) obvious choice is “B” but assume for a minute that you are the person I’m talking about. Does that change it?

Would you want to know the truth no matter what, or would you rather see a magic trick to hide the truth?

And would it matter since technically you don’t know there’s a “truth” to be told?

Does being honest mean you have to tell someone the truth about something they had no knowledge of in the first place? What if they suspect something but they don’t know for sure? Or what if they mostly know for sure but they just don’t bring it up? Are you still responsible to tell the person?

Oh, my achin’ skull.

I feel like if it was me, then I would definitely want to know the truth, no matter what. Not telling me is the same as lying, and I can’t imagine any truth so awful that it would really make me run from a person.

But now flipping back to being on the other side of things, I do believe that you can reveal something about yourself so absolutely revolting and treacherous that it could leave someone blind and deaf for life. Or at least for a really long time (Freakin’ movie references. Sorry about that.)

I just feel so unnecessarily confused.

If the person can’t accept the truth then that would be the end of everything anyway, so why prolong the inevitable, right?

On the other hand, consider all the things people say and do to avoid the truth and live in denial about things. I might be doing them a favor to keep my mouth shut.

And why should I risk humiliating myself for a virtue no one seems to value anymore anyway?

Have you any idea how horribly binding shame is? People alter their whole lives and go to early graves because of shame. It’s bad enough to inflict it on yourself but to have someone else do it…Wow. That second option is looking better and better all the time.

If I survive it, I’ll let you know what happens.

In the mean time, the clock is ticking, and I’m open to suggestions.


Inaya  Day "Keep on Pushin'" Boris Dlugosch original mix. (Is Zippers in Detroit still open?)

Who doesn't dig the Rolling Stones? The remix for "Sympathy for the Devil" is spine tingling. And the video is probably an accurate depiction of a typical day for the devil.

Back then I didn't have a name to go with the face so I kept thinking, "Who are those two dudes under the 'Nerd' sign supposed to be?" So glad I found out.

And while we're sort of on the subject, this was one of the songs that made me sit up and say, "I need to look into these Neptunes guys." I hated the original version of this song, but the beat and the rap changed everything. The remix made me look at BSB again. After some investigation, I realized that I was erroneously pumping up 'Nsync to my friends. (S'okay, I still love JT!)

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