Wednesday, February 23, 2011

...Sometimes I Just Wonder ~ "Really Random Thoughts" edition...

I almost feel bad for saying this, but I’m kind of glad that you’ve probably heard of Serene Branson.

They’re saying now that it was possibly a migraine that caused her troubles, and I totally believe it. I’ve never had one bad enough to scramble any words I’m trying to speak, but I’ve had some bad enough to scramble any words I’m trying to hear. I had one start up a little over a week ago that was so bad, I couldn’t read. I could see the words and understand them but they kept reading out of order. It was a mess. Migraines are no joke.

Aside from all that, I’ve still got a ton of stuff on my mind and my head is all over the place. So the best I can muster for a post is a few of my random, fleeting thoughts. Hope you don’t mind

-1- Joel Northrup is part of a dying breed of gentlemen. I’m surprised (but not really) at how many people are giving this kid flack for opting not to wrestle a girl in his division. I’ve even heard grown women taunting him. No real surprise there either I guess. We should be applauding this boy for having some morals and respect for young women. Don’t give me any BS either about equal rights. If you think she should be allowed to wrestle (and I think she should, too) then encourage your own daughter to join the sport so she has someone to go against.

-2- Your baby can read. If you read to it first. That’s right, for the low, low fee of FREE, you can spend time with your own little brats and read to them yourself instead of just plopping them down in front of a video. So crazy, it actually works.

-3- The following foods should be banned from the office microwave:
  1. broccoli
  2. Bacon
  3. Popcorn.
They all smell to be damned. It takes three minutes to heat up one of those popcorn bags, would it kill you stand there and pull it out before it starts to burn?
And if you smoke those cigarettes in the yellow box with the man on the front, you should also be banned from the office microwave area. Please know that your mouth smells like butt, and talking to you is like being farted on directly in the face. You could eat an onion for lunch and not smell half as bad. Your nasty smoking habit is supposed to kill you, not everyone you have a conversation with. Go away.

-4- Dear Government Officials,

Your budget foul up was not my fault, I would thank you kindly to track down whoever stole your money and beat the daylights out of those people, and leave me alone.
You can’t cut my income to cover your debt; overtax what little I have left, and then tell me to go spend money at an area business that’s jacked up their prices due to a failing economy that’s NOT MY FAULT. My state refund this year was $77. That is not a typo. Seven tens, seven ones. It costs me 90 damn dollars to file my state refund. See how that doesn’t work?
My next step is to figure out how to incorporate myself or otherwise declare myself as a business in order to fall in line with Gov. Rick Snyder’s new plan, otherwise known as “How to Screw Over Your Constiuency." Just so you know, I didn’t vote for you.

-5- HOLY SMOKES, He’s smiling again.
Dang, he’s cute. Looking that good should count as community service or something: beautifying the neighborhood. I swear I was mad about something a minute ago, but for the life of me I can’t remember what it was now. (And why does Fam look like all of the younger guys on my dad’s side of the family? Weird.)

-6- I can’t figure out what specifically is making this last season of Oprah suck so viciously, but wow, does it bite the big one. And why do people like Glee?

-7- I was starting to wonder if it was just me and I was being too hard on people. Turns out there is scientific evidence that humans are getting dumber. Smarten yourself up here.

-8- Funny how some news stories just kind of go away without any explanation. Not that I’d believe anything “they” would tell me anyway, but try and offer some kind of explanation. At least they came up with something for the dead cows.

-9- My three favorite scents in the world: cinnamon, lavendar, and natural guy smell. I truly enjoy the scent of freshly showered male armpits first thing in the morning. One “natural scent” that I will never add to this list is the “intimate scent of a beautiful women." The website address is crazy enough, but you might not believe this even after you see it.  Head on over and purchase your bottle of Vulva today!...

-10 - So when I tackle him to the ground and start licking him, and he's all like, "Why? Why? Whyyy?"  I'll say, "You know why."

Songs stuck in my head right now..
Unfortunately, I can't find a better quality than this but the music will transcend the upload quality, I assure you.

Steely Dan - "Bad Sneakers"

The Steve Miller Band is one of my other closet favorites ~ "Jet Airliner"

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