Wednesday, November 16, 2011

...This Doesn't Seem Normal...

First watch this very awesome kid…

It’s nice to see there still some individuality.

This guy also happens to be sensible and well spoken, so major kudos to him and the good people that raised him for being such a brave and smart cookie.

The crowd’s response to him doesn’t surprise me. It would seem that the idea of someone suggesting that they think for a minute, ask questions, and demand accountability is a complete turn off to the masses.

Notice how uniform and sheep-like they are when another voice in the crowd suggest they pipe down and listen. It’s like they don’t even care what they're standing there for, they just enjoy standing in a large group chanting loudly together.

Where do these lonely and mindless people come from?

I remember having a casual conversation with a friend about sexual abuse and when they asked me had I experienced something like that, my response was something like, “everyone has.”

I really thought that at the time. As I got older and talked to more people and realized there were some that had never had the experience, I remember wondering how they managed to escape it. I envy those people, but I guess I can take some kind of twisted comfort in knowing that there are others out there like me.

But who are these strange people who don’t know the horror first hand? And why on earth do I find them strange?

I guess I normalized it in my head. I thought that’s just how it was.

The problem with normalizing things that have no business being normal is that you become exactly the opposite of whatever “normal” is.

Not abnormal, but something else. Something fuzzier, or hairier that that. Something simultaneously benign and dangerous. Something remotely human, but not even close.

In my case, I might see a very little kid and think, “it’s only a matter of time.”

Sometimes I see pregnant ladies and try to telepathically warn the little being inside: Go away! Disappear! It’s not safe here. Nothing is ever safe again. (Ironically one of the people who claims to be annoyed about this quality of mine was one of my abusers.) I don’t mean to be on high alert, but I spent enough years feeling stupid and getting hurt because, I guess, I wasn't alert enough.

And I don’t mean any harm to these chicks or their kids and I don’t have malicious intent, but that’s what normalizing does. It's the proverbial "road to hell."

It’s a mess.

For Jerry Sandusky, and so many others like him, normalization leads to the inability to identify crazy. Or maybe it’s the refusal to acknowledge crazy.

If you don’t see anything wrong with being an adult, in the nude, in the shower, with a kid- especially someone else’s kid- and the kid is too old to drown in an inch of water, then you are normalizing the wrong things. You’re honestly not seeing crazy. Or you are refusing to acknowledge it.

If you aren’t clear on the definition of “teenage” …

If you are grown and having sleepovers with teens and pre-teens that are sleeping in your bed, and you think it’s okay because being “sweet people” somehow justifies your deviant and disgusting behavior…

(Or this one It is not love or healing. It’s disgusting.)

And no disrespect on that last one, bless his soul, but let’s be real: he was pretty much a text book case.

I’m saying we’re blurring the line between (1) accepting the commonality of things that might be different from our understanding and (2) the normalization of things that are simply wrong.

It is always, always wrong to hurt another person. It doesn’t matter why. You don’t hurt other people. Don’t do it.

And if someone hurts you, then please don’t take it out on the next person. That’s not okay. You might not have had many choices about what you had to endure, but you have choices now, and you are still an amazing person who can do amazing things. Don’t ruin it with bad choices.

But the kid the first video makes an interesting point. It’s easy to forget, forgive, or otherwise look away if/when the "right status" is at play. Sure we love the children, but they’re not more important than great music, or a winning season or two, or adults getting their jollies.

If it can distract us from the sour, we will consider it sweet.

As best as I can tell, that’s just seems to be the “norm.”

Common - E = MC2

I love any artist that doesn’t sound like anyone else (think Kenna, or David Ruffin) so I think I might be on the verge of loving this guy.
Frank Ocean – We All Try

Every version of this starts out unreasonably low in volume, so turn it up a little, but you might want to keep your hand near the volume for later.
Edvard Grieg - In the Hall of the Mountain King

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