Wednesday, March 21, 2012

...I Have (Another) Dilemma...

Question for you

Suppose you own something that you don’t really use. You are required to keep it on you at all times and maintain it, which you do, but sometimes it’s a pain in the butt to keep up with.

Then you magically discover that you could potentially get rid of it. Or at least part of it- just enough to make it manageable; it would really make things easier for you if you did.

Now since there’s always a catch, here it is…

If you choose to get rid of any of it, you can never have it back. One day you might need it or want to use it, but you feel like it’s unlikely.

At this point you’re pretty much holding on to it because you know once it’s gone, it’s gone. You can never, ever get it back. It’s completely irreplaceable. And you would hate to throw it out on Tuesday only to discover you need it that next Monday.

What would you do? Would you keep it or ditch it?

It’s funny because as I reread that it almost sounds like I’m talking about virginity or something. It’s not, (we’re a lotta years too late on [debating] that one) but it might as well be. It’s something really personal, and I have it, and I’m so tired of having it since I’m not using it but I feel so, so sure that the second I get rid of it, I’ll be sorry.

How do you shake that feeling?

I admit to being a little bit of pack rat. I’m not a hoarder or anything and you can walk through the house without fear that something will topple over and bury you alive, but I hold on to things sometimes without being sure of why I hold on to them.

Mostly it’s because I’m sure I’ll need it later and don’t know that I’ll be able to get it again, but some things are inexplicable.

I found a tiny envelope the other day. Based on the information on the outside, I know exactly what’s in it: my wisdom teeth. I had them pulled years ago when they first started coming in, and they give them to you when you leave and joke that you can make a necklace out of them if you want. Hahaha.

Except why do I still have them? I said I would take a look and then toss them out. And then I didn’t look in the envelope but instead put it back where I found it.

I have some other random stuff, too.

I keep finding packages of index cards. I think I must buy them, lose them, re-purchase and repeat. None of the packs are open and for the life of me now, I can’t remember what I was buying them for in the first place.

I opened a small brown paper bag of ink pen caps. Not an ink pen in sight, but a mixture of caps. That one made me wonder if I ever did drugs without knowing it.

I also found a box of another magazines. I say another because it was around this time last year that I found a different box of magazines. At least those were all writer-oriented magazines. These are not. I’ve been slowly flipping through them trying to figure out why I kept them but nothing’s jumping out at me, except one really smoking hot picture of Pharrell.

That’s odd because the magazine is sooo old that I don’t think I even noticed that he was cute then. Talented yes, always, but cute? Hard to believe, but I really didn’t pick up on it right away. Maybe he gets better with “age.” And by “age” I meant, my aging, because clearly he doesn’t do that.

As for my weird finds, everything can be tossed, and usually I just bag these random items up and toss them in the big dumpster. But to be fair, they are all things I can replace.

This one annoying thing I’m holding to, I’ve thought about it –a lot- and I can’t see any way to get it back.

And I neglected to mention that it’s not really an “it” but more of “they.” There are three things, and the second two could sort of be replaced but it just doesn’t make sense to spend time and money getting rid of them so you can spend time and money getting them back. And the replacements won’t really be the same as the originals.

And now we’re back to me going in circles about it.

I try not to think about it, but it’s like trying to ignore your extra finger or toe. I don’t mean the little nub some people have, I mean, say you have a full extra finger on your hand.

I bet when you’re trying to take all the grocery bags out the car in one trip that extra finger is your best friend, but come winter time you prefer mittens to gloves.

But maybe it’s physically uncomfortable. Or slightly embarrassing. And you’re not really sure you need it, but there are tons of people in the world that have them and don’t seem poorly affected by it.

So now you feel like a crybaby complaining about your extra finger until you accidentally hit or snag it on something again and then you feel like if you could figure out how to safely remove it yourself at home, you would have done it already.


So now I’m thinking there’s a reason why it’s not so easy to just get rid of it.

Perhaps it’s meant to be one of those “uniquely you, so enjoy it” things.

Anytime I’ve mentioned it to anyone they always put in a very strong vote for keeping it. One person even told me “I’d kill to have one. I’ve seen them in movies, and it looks like they really work. It’s not even something you can buy in the store. If you’re lucky enough to have one, you should hold on to it.”

Easy for them to say.

So this is the part where I say something like, “I’m not going to obsess over this. I refuse to.”

Insert tidy, happy personal resolve statement and then close with the earworms.

I’d like to do that for us both, but I’m too annoyed by this thing.

Yet, I feel I owe it to some unknown entity to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and give it my best shot. Until I decide and it remains in my possession, then I probably do need to have some level of resolve about it, right?

Everything I have is a blessing. And I am grateful for all blessings, oddities and all.

Okay, the might have worked a little bit.

Nope. Still irritated.

About this week’s earworms. I, uh…yeah
Britney Spears – Slave For You (I still think some of these lyrics aren’t real words)

I don’t have to explain my earworms to you!

Backstreet Boys – I Want It That Way (whatever that means)

Aw, shuddup
Sisqo – Thong Song (Ironically this video featured some of the least attractive, most grotesquely misshapen women I have ever seen in a video)

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