Wednesday, April 4, 2012

...It Wouldn't Kill You to Be Nice...

I was so pre-occupied with other things that I somehow missed the Mega Millions mania last week.

I suspect you’ll find that hard to believe but try to remember I don’t really watch TV barring the same couple of shows, listen to radio, and even online I have favorite sites that I visit and then I’m done.

I try to avoid things that are fake, stupid, obnoxious, or negative, so that leaves out almost every form of mass media. I’m down to music I find on my favorite forums and library books. I catch some things, but somehow I didn’t catch this.

So needless to say, I didn’t buy a ticket, nor did I have a chance to fantasize about what I would do with my winnings. Now remember this is my fantasy so I would have been the sole winner of the full $640 million jackpot.

  1. Obviously – obviously!- quit my job.
  2. I’d pay off whatever was left on my mom’s house after she refinances assuming she’s ever allowed to do so along with the other homeowners that actually kept up on their payments and got screwed because of it.
  3. I’d pay off that government extortion bill commonly referred to as my student loan.
  4. Of course I’d give some to my immediate family with a note saying, “Make it work, because it’s all you’re going to get.”
  5. Grace all of my favorite charities.
  6. Travel.
  7. Do some serious studying and Invest.
  8. And the one thing I have always wanted to do.
  9. Money has never motivated me in anything but it would seem I’m in the minority on this. As a result, I have always wanted and would always love to be in a position where I could hand out hundred dollar bills to random strangers I see doing good things.

I estimate this activity would cost me roughly about $400 a year.

Now since part of my plan is to travel, maybe I would find more people overseas than I would around here, but as it stands right now, my giveaway money is safe.

I’m not even talking about difficult stuff.

  • I would do it for a guy that holds a door for a lady, (I’ve seen this maybe twice in ten years) or a kid that says “thank you” to their parent (kid you not, only witnessed this once in all of my adult years.)
  • People that pick up litter they didn’t throw down.
  • People that at least smile or nod hello when it’s not a holiday season.
  • Store employees that don’t say, “I don’t know, that’s not my department.”
  • People that push their cart to the parking lot cart corral at grocery stores instead of shoving it from the end of the lot directly into someone’s car.
  • People that don’t HONK AT ME IN ANGER when I’m pushing my car to the parking lot cart corral.
  • People who don’t think being mean is funny and say so. I can’t tell you how often I’ve been the target of ridicule over this, but it comes out before I can stop it. Thank goodness I’m used to be different. And also used to beridiculed.
  • That chick in your office that never uses the microwave but is always cleaning it because, “it looked kind of gross so I just cleaned it.”
  • People who contribute thoughtful things to websites/forums/blogs instead of always having something nasty to say and loving the internet for allowing them to pretend they have some sort of spine. (and we can guess that obviously you don’t have a spine which is why you are so nasty to complete strangers behind the safety of your keyboard.)

… Which sort of reminds me of a story.

I knew this guy back in high school who had taken whatever class, and mastered it to the point that he could break your wrist in some kind of quick, flashy move in mere seconds.

This kid was breaking wrists all over town because he was kind of a little guy and there was always some loud mouth big dude that was stupid enough to think it made him look good to pick on someone half his size.

People felt the need to challenge him, no more or no less than probably the rest of us, but still they tried it with him, and always found out the hard way why it wasn’t a good idea.

He’s high on my list of reminder tales for why you need to watch who you think you’re going to get tough with. You have no clue what that person is feeling or capable of.

They might be angry and good at snapping wrists. Or they might be skeptical and have a hundred dollar bill to give away.

As usual, I would have a backup plan for this. (Don’t I always?)

I could always take the money and my new found time to search for the whatever it is I would need to have or to learn in order to kill people using only the powers of my mind.

Loser dudes, mindless whores, and bad kids beware: one false move, and plop! Dead on the spot.

Of course, if you’re a nice person, you’ve got nothing to worry about.

It’s a little early for one of my favorite Summer Songs, but why not…
Donell Jones – You Know That I Love You

Suzanne Vega – Carame

A pre-Happy Birthday wish to still one of my favorite music producers….

Pharrell has been working so hard lately on such an amazing array of good music (Yuna, Buddy, Apparatjik, some Fam-Lay tracks I heard) that the poor man has apparently neglected his self care to the point of green (and in some pics, yellow) hair. Some anti-fungal shampoo should clear that right up.
Best smile ever ...on a black leprechaun

Of course when I first saw it, I immediately thought of this
Beauty School Dropout… missed your midterms and flunked shampoo…

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