Wednesday, September 12, 2012

...This is the Post-Vacation Post...

Abbreviated versions of all the stuff I scribbled down over the last couple of weeks but didn’t post here because, yes, there are times, spaces, and places a girl can be without internet access.

Sometimes referred to as a vacation.

Needless to say I worked during my vacation, but I also cleaned up, caught up on books and movies, relaxed, and stared at a few hours of a Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta marathon.

There’s this chick that I thought had some sense fighting over that guy that used to make hits at Bad Boy Records with some girl with the most chiseled jaw and ballooned body parts I’ve ever seen on a biological woman.

And then another girl fighting a different chick in a ratty hair piece (that was on Flavor of Love, I think) over a guy that my mom kept calling "Lil Snappy."

Business as usual at VH1.

Something (sorta) different in Chicago where the teachers (average annual income: $71,000 - $76,000) went on strike over a pay increase cancellation, the potential inability to pass a standardized test and some other stuff.

I understand that some teachers are severely underpaid, but quite a few of them are incredibly overpaid. True, Pay cuts suck. I know this from personal experience, and I feel their pain, but won’t someone please think of the children?

I remember our teachers went on strike during my senior year. The school year was so late getting started, we had prom and graduation in June but were still in class until the middle of July.

On the subject of BS, best wishes to Kwame Kilpatrick. The former Detroit mayor is on trial for (alledgedly) doing a bad impersonation of Dick Cheney during his Halliburton days.

I still don’t know who Mr. Kilpatrick pissed off but they are on a mission to have him hanging, skinned and smoldering from the tallest tree in the city by early next year.

Then they’ll find some reason to take the corpse to court…. Burn, tax dollars, burn.

Speaking of bad politics, the Republican National Convention was as fascinating as it was terrifying.

Not since the time I accidentally landed on one of those neo-you-know-whats website have I found a larger collection of crazy people convinced of their goofball theories.

Ann Romney took a nice big dump on everyone that wasn’t a mother or wife, Clint Eastwood reminded everyone why Medicare is important (and should cover mental health), and Mitt Romney managed again to say quite a bit without saying much of anything.

(Presidential Candidate Mays Gilliam points out some stuff that ain’t right)

At the Democratic National Convention, President Barack Obama gave a speech like a man who knew he had a bunch of stuff on his desk he had to get back to.

Of course Michelle Obama gave a speech that touched my heart even if she alienated everyone without a father and former president Bill Clinton gave a speech that was so cool and made so much sense, I almost forgot he was a politician. It was awesome.

Not so awesome was every store in the area and its so-called selection of Grandparent’s Day cards.

I found Halloween cards in abundance and a surprisingly wide variety of cards for the Jewish New Year, but next to nothing to choose from for the O.G.’s. Even the Hallmark store let me down.

For shame on you people.

None of us would be here without our grandparents. I mean literally… how do you think your mom and dad got here, hunh? That’s Sex Ed 101.

It would seem that Tom Smith skipped that class, and like Todd Akin should never, ever, speak on women’s reproductive health again.
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These men are idiots. Period.

Reproductive (pseudo) fact: The bass line of this song will knock you up….
Average White Band - School Boy Crush

The Five Stairsteps - Ooh, Ooh Child

Random cuteness: I love how they look at each other in excitement before they start dancing.

Random,uh, ... randomness: A "bicycle" without a seat or pedals. Most sites talk about this like it's lame, but I absolutely would use it.

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