Wednesday, May 15, 2013

...I'm Locked and Loaded, People ...

Remember this great scene from the movie Lean On Me?

Rage and Anger are like crack. Some people seem to really love it though it’s a slow, horrible way to die.

You must give up your addiction to being a miserable old biddy if you wish to live a full happy life, or you might as well go ahead and jump off of something and get it over with.

Wherever you are and however bad it is, you are not alone. You don’t get to be a nasty individual just because you think your bad day was worse than the next person. We don’t leave the house in the morning receiving telegrams that say:

Today is Your Day to be a Big, Obnoxious, B--- to Everyone You Encounter today! Congratulations!
Now go out and take your misguided anger out on innocent bystanders.

Somehow I managed to irritate a complete stranger the other day in the grocery store. Didn’t say a word to her, but everything I pulled out of my cart incurred her wrath so much so that I started to pull everything off the belt and move to another line so as not to torture her with my Orville Ready-to-Eat popcorn or Entenmann’s lemon snack pie.

She apparently was all worked up too because the last time I leaned over my cart she saw down my shirt. How do I know this? She announced it loudly.

I can only assume that she was crazy or cranky, but after the day I had had, I would bet you she wasn’t crazier or crankier than me at that moment. Just because I choose not to vent everything all the time right in the moment, doesn’t mean I’m not upset.

I hold everything in until I literally become sick and pass out. Or until something silly distracts me.

I wonder if one day I’ll explode?

Thanks to our NRA friends I can stockpile with ease without having to worry about any intrusive background check because Lord knows I wouldn’t have passed any mental health test in my current state.

In the meantime deflector shields are on. You might get it back if you put it out there, so watch yourself.

And raging individuals, may I suggest you all lock yourselves in a metal cage with weapons. Last man standing gets to shoot himself.

Let’s remember to be nice to people. You never know what kind of pain they might be in. Or if they’re angry and armed.

So here I go cheering myself up.

I can’t not smile when I hear these songs or see these videos, and I hope you smile, too.

Madonna – Don’t Tell Me

Gross and engrossing. Plus, it’s hard to screw up a Barry White sample.

Robbie Williams – Rock DJ

L.T.D. – (Every Time I Turn Around) Back in Love Again

I just love the ending when Ralph says number-HERRR

New Edition – Hot 2Nite

Oh Happy Day (Sister Act 2 version)

I learned this song when I was about 4 years old and still remember every word…

Sam Cooke – That’s It, I Quit, I’m Moving On

And since it fits…

Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five – The Message

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