Friday, June 26, 2009

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

...We May Feel Entitled...

I remember sitting on the bed with my sister after coming home from the hospital when my father passed away doing one of those ugly cries. “I keep thinking of dumb stuff,” I said. “Like, who’s going to give me away when I get married?”

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Angel, I thought you said you never wanted to get married” And well you’re right, I don’t and I didn’t, but it was the principle of the thing. Even though I’ve known my whole life that marriage is a scam perpetrated by The Man in an attempt to shorten the life span and lower the IQ of women everywhere, in this moment on the bed crying with my sister, I felt jilted.
I felt like I had lost my right to something I was entitled to even if I never planned to use the entitlement.
Think about people you know that didn’t grow up with a father- not because the father was no longer living, or off somewhere working to provide a living, but because he just didn’t step up to the plate and do the right man thing. Let’s say he’s somewhere with 11 kids by 8 different women and not taking care of any of them and everyone knows he’s a no good bum. Rest assured at least one of his kids is still going to feel like she’s missing something from him not being there. Even though she knows where he is, knows he’s a loser… even if she had some other man raise her to better than her real “dad” ever could, she’s still going to feel like she missed out on something by her biological dad not being in the picture. Why? Entitlement.

Truthfully there are very few things in life we are actually entitled to, but happily,  a few might be all that we need to get where we need to go.  Combine any of these things with the right attitude, some resourcefulness,  hardwork, commitment and opportunity, and you should have all you need or could ever want.  If you are a member of the Earth family, you are entitled to the following: 

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

...Some kids need a good whack every now and then...

This is not a celebrity blog, nor do I care about celebrities and so-called celebrities or what they do but this story is all over the place and after doing some easy research I had to speak on it.

This Kate lady with the 8 kids is all over the news because she spanked one of her daughters. The story goes the little girl was blowing a whistle while the mom was on the phone. The mom told her to stop and when she didn’t, Mom goes over and whacks the kid, the kid starts crying, by-standers take pictures and controversy ensues.

Now based on how many times I heard the story I was expecting to look into it and find evidence that the mother served the little girl two uppercuts, a backhand ,and a drop-kick. Turns out that she walked over, grabbed her arm and gave her an open hand smack on the fanny. The little girl cries as most kids do when they get into trouble and grabs her heiny. The picture of this states that she is “in pain.'


Let me back up a few years.
When I was about 8 or 9 years old I had one of those giant balloon ball thingies on the string that you could hang like a punching bag. Except my dad wouldn’t let me hang it so I kept tossing it up in the air and punching it as many times as I could before it hit the ground. Then I started to try and kick it back up so it wouldn’t hit the ground at all and I could keep the action going.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

...I'm going au natural...

Or maybe not, I still haven't completely decided.

And for the record, I'm talking about my hair, so I guess I really meant, "all natural" but now that I have your attention...

There are a lot of reasons to go either way, but my reasons for leaning towards the kinky curly side of life are quite simple. There’s no political agenda. I’m not trying to make a statement. I don’t need to break the so-called bonds of self hatred that manifested itself in getting my hair relaxed. I’m not trying to get over a bad break up. I’m not having a midlife crisis.

I am however considering a career change that would require less salon dependency. I’ve noticed some horrible unacceptable changes to the condition of my hair including a color lift from an astonishing jet black to a copper rust color and a few other indescribable effects that make my hair look interesting but not like, well, my hair.

And finally, after about five years of unsuccessful stylists hopping with unsatisfactory results, it has occurred to me that I am perfectly capable of screwing up my own hair – and for free, or at least for cheap.

In the beginning, there was Jackie. Love of my life, my hair’s soulmate, best hair care expert stylist ever. Her work inspired the envy of women, the adoration of men and the happiness of me. After years and years of a beautiful relationship, she up and left me. No call, no letter, no nothing. The others in the salon didn’t even know what happened. She just gave her two-week notice, and never came back, tossing my hair mercilessly back onto the market where I have been used and abused in a freak show of hair horrors.

Send in the clowns, homey!

Monday, June 1, 2009

...Music is Crud...

I think I have uncovered secret documents to explain the current state of music today. For your consideration, I present a page from rare industry insider document:
  • Find some talent means, "find smoeone with a nice look. Actual music ability is a plus."
  • Develop the talent means, "Get the 'artist' a personal trainer, or a good plastic surgeon."
  • Make the album means, "Hire overpriced producers and a skilled engineer to put the whole album together. Vocals can be supplied through computerized methods if necessary."
  • Promote the talent means, "Call up the same two skanky hoes for every video to crawl around on a bed in the background for some ugly punk taht would never get that girl if she wasn't paid to be there."
  • Artist means, "Person that signs a contract and now believes they are supposed to do a few appearanced and get a 'big' check.If person has actual talent, it should not be applied unless absolutely necessary as this may raise public expectations, and thus production costs and care."
  • Industry executive means, "tone deaf with entirely too much authority over the music business."