I've been sick for a few weeks now.
- I’m sick of “bad” news. (Bin Laden pops back up, and the world's longest hanging starring Kwame Kilpatrick as the dead man drags on)
- I’m sick of “stupid” news. (Endless updates on Tiger Woods, Jesse James, or anyone else that can't keep it in their pants)
- And then there's the news where the “bad” and “stupid” meet in the middle (Death Before Health Care?)
And I’m sick of just being sick. I’m not exaggerating when I say my only pain-free parts right now are my toes. And we’re going on week three of Angel held hostage.
But I refuse to complain. I’m going to talk about what’s good these days. I’m going to follow the advice of obnoxious new age jerk-offs everywhere and “choose” to be freakin’ happy.
This won’t be easy. My experience has been that actively expressing my love or appreciation for something is the fastest way to lose it. I can’t ever allow myself to openly love something because it ends up going away. That might sound cliché or just unbelievable, but this is a lifetime of experience I’m talking about it. The exception to this rule is that if it doesn’t go away, it just gets hurt really badly.
But since I’m trying to learn to not be ruled my fears (which we all know by now are mostly irrational), I’m going to step on out there, and express my appreciation for all the small things. Small things add up. Every blessing should be counted.
Stuff I’m happy to be blessed about. (in no particular order):
- I am clean, dry, indoors and will sleep in a bed later tonight.
- In the morning, if I’m lucky, I’ll wake up to start another day.
- I have a job that’s quirky sometimes with interesting people, and reliable transportation to get there and back home again.
- I’m able to write this.
- I’m able to read this.
- I’m grateful for books.
- I’m grateful for beautiful music.
- I’m grateful for wonderful friends who are thoughtful enough to send me beautiful music. (If you read this, thank you. You’re one of the coolest people I know.)
- Cookies and/or ice cream
- We have a fitness room at my job, so I’m happy to have free access to exercise equipment (see #9)
- I’m happy that my toes don’t hurt.
- Oatmeal, olive oil, lavender oil, raw cabbage, and honey.
- Indoor plumbing.
- Art work
- Talented people that share their talent
- Kind or funny words when you least expect them but need them the most.
Not bad. It was hard to do that without adding in “except for” or “but” comments, but I’m glad I did it. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get to one hundred items before the end of the year!
Song stuck in my head this week: After a bout of "big-fish-in-small-pond" syndrome, they moved to Def Jam.
Where they were eaten by sharks.