Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Sometimes I Just Wonder: "Clearing Head Space" edition

Nothing here is really worthy of a full post but these things are halfway on my mind and seem to be looking for attention.

I figure if I mention them and get them out the way, I can get some (other) writing done. I’d like to think it’s a nice way to start the new year with a fresh slate. So grab a snack, this might take a minute. I have a very large head.

Oh, and reader’s discretion is advised.

I am in love with Monkey Farts. That is to say that I am in love with this banana-scented candle available through the Meltdown Candle Company. The wick has an even burn and the aroma lingers hours after you extinguish the flame. I don't think I have to tell you that the Cinnamon Red Hot is another favorite, but they have a lot of giggly-titled scents to choose from ("Twigs and Berries" anyone?). Visit the website or if you're shivering in Michigan right now, find them at the Westland Mall by the Kohl's entrance.

Have you seen this?

Okay, so since one her legs looks like both of mine tied together, we’re about the same height, and I weigh more than she does, either Kandi is a 150 pound lie or I have a crazy large tumor that I’m not aware of.

Can you believe the same guy who told me I’d do good to lose 10 or 15 pounds had the nerve to act like she was hot? I rolled my eyes and encouraged him to try and find her and make a move. He might get lucky and get the Pop Rocks trick.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

...Today is a Gift...

It’s unlikely that Justin Timberlake will show up to your house in a gingerbread man costume, but feel free to scream like an Ellen audience member upon opening your presents this year.

Or you can use this vid as a laugh to relieve holiday stress.

No matter what you get, or don’t get, if you have access to this, are able to read it, or even woke up this morning, consider today a gift in itself.

Have a Safe and Wonderful Holiday Season!!

And warm hugs and kisses to George Michael. (Where is your winter hat, young man?) and the wonderful people that gave him (and us fans) another day.

Still the best version of this song: Wham!~ Last Christmas

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

...I Don't Need No Stinkin' Snow...

I make my own snowballs, man.

Right inside my head.

That’s something I’m still working on and determined to get under control because it is exhausting. I am exhausted. Every single muscle hurts and the migraines are so bad these days if I don’t vomit upon waking I think something is wrong. (See? That was a snowball right there.)

I still have this issue with any tiny little something sends the mind rolling into every possible disaster scenario and all the reasons why I’m pissed about it. And what really pisses me off is that it’s almost never my own stuff. And the “stuff” owners never worry about it because they have me to worry for them.

I decided I needed to do something nice for myself and I could not think of a single solid thing I wanted to do. Nothing, people.

What the heck, man? How could I not be able to come up with one- ONE! - nice thing to do for myself. What in tarnation… who does that?

These days a good day is day with nothing and no one. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to leave the house. I don’t want to talk to friends or family or even hear your dog bark. I don’t want to turn on the TV, the internet, watch a movie or read a book. I want everything and everybody to shut up, leave me alone and stop trying to infect me with your mental viruses.

I have never been the sort to spread my misery but I guess I’m in the minority because most people get all Nino Brown with it like, “If I’m going down I’m taking a whole lotta m—f—with me.”

Sunday, December 18, 2011

..I'd Hit it...

I'll give you two guesses which one I'm talking about it.

You'd be right either way.

Seriously, is that her real body? Is this his?! I'm blinded by the hotness.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

...We Only Wanted a Phone...

My mom is in the market for a new cell phone, and by God people, does no one make a phone anymore that’s simply intended for making phone calls?

My current phone is about two years old. I paid something like 40 bucks for it at a Walmart and only bought it because I thought it might be nice to get a newer, more “modern” looking phone. The one before it was about 8 or 9 years old, maybe older.  It still worked fine and I had no problems with it at all.

It didn’t have a camera, but I could still get very basic internet access and text- neither of which I EVER used. It was pretty, blue, and a bar phone with solid features. I think if I stuck my sim card in it now, it would probably still work just fine.

My newer phone is a red, slider with all the same features plus a camera that I would only use to snap the picture of something really phenomenal in an emergency if I had to. You know, like the plate on a car speeding away from an accident or something, maybe Jesus walking across the street, but mostly it’s a “just in case” feature.

My mom is looking for a similar phone. It makes calls, can send and receive text, doesn’t purse- or butt-dial and works when you need it. That’s it.

Good luck with that, Mom.

Salespeople tend to look at you funny if you ask for that. They’ll point you in the general direction of a wall of cheap plastic phone-like objects and walk off without another word.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

...Dogs Rule...

It's no secret at this point how much I love and respect dogs.

And now Reagan earns another spot in my unofficial doggie hall of fame.


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

...That Reminds Me...

This is kind of a quiz for music freaks.

I come across these things all the time and then usually I forget about them, but for (soon to be revealed) semi-obvious reasons these popped up all at the same time so they’re kind of stuck.

What do these remind you of?

Kelis – “Perfect Day”

Michael Jackson – “Earth Song (What about us?)”

Frank Ocean – “Novocane”

Think about it, then hit the jump for the answers.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

...I Wanted to Buy a Sam Cooke Album...

I happened to pass Under the Cherry Moon at the library the other day and decided to check it out on a whim.

I only remembered it as being kind of a bad movie. And it was, but in the most awesome kind of way.

This scene is a classic

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

...Good Shirts Do Good...

They weren't kidding when they called this the world's most expensive t-shirt.

But as the holidays approach and you find yourself a bit more in the spirit of giving, consider this:

$300,000 buys you this snazzy little tee. And a UNICEF cargo plane drop.

Check out this video for the backstory on Horn of Africa fundraiser, then visit the Threadless special UNICEF site to donate and be rewarded with a tee! 

And don't worry, they have plenty of shirts for less than 300 grand.

Good Shirts for the Horn of Africa from on Vimeo.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

...All You Need is Love...

And a lot of patience, high energy, and some common sense.

PBS presents the surprisingly touching and funny story of Joe Hutto, a man who proves that even an "odd parent" can be a good parent.

Watch My Life as a Turkey on PBS. See more from NATURE.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

...He Just Wanted to Be on TV...

You'll be seeing these types of videos for the next few days, but this one will be the funniest.

Maybe the turkey just wanted some TV time.

Or maybe her gobble-sounding screams made him want to get to know her better...

Have a Safe and Happy Holiday!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

... This Barely Looks Real...

But it surely looks beautiful.

This is a time-lapse video of the Earth shot by astronauts on board the International Space Station with a great view of the Northern Lights.

This should make us want to take better care of the place.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

...This Doesn't Seem Normal...

First watch this very awesome kid…

It’s nice to see there still some individuality.

This guy also happens to be sensible and well spoken, so major kudos to him and the good people that raised him for being such a brave and smart cookie.

The crowd’s response to him doesn’t surprise me. It would seem that the idea of someone suggesting that they think for a minute, ask questions, and demand accountability is a complete turn off to the masses.

Notice how uniform and sheep-like they are when another voice in the crowd suggest they pipe down and listen. It’s like they don’t even care what they're standing there for, they just enjoy standing in a large group chanting loudly together.

Where do these lonely and mindless people come from?

I remember having a casual conversation with a friend about sexual abuse and when they asked me had I experienced something like that, my response was something like, “everyone has.”

I really thought that at the time. As I got older and talked to more people and realized there were some that had never had the experience, I remember wondering how they managed to escape it. I envy those people, but I guess I can take some kind of twisted comfort in knowing that there are others out there like me.

But who are these strange people who don’t know the horror first hand? And why on earth do I find them strange?

I guess I normalized it in my head. I thought that’s just how it was.

The problem with normalizing things that have no business being normal is that you become exactly the opposite of whatever “normal” is.

Not abnormal, but something else. Something fuzzier, or hairier that that. Something simultaneously benign and dangerous. Something remotely human, but not even close.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

...(There's) Something in the Way of Things...

From one of my favorite Roots CD. This song featuring spoken word from Amiri Baraka has always given me chills and I was doing a little research when I came across this video for it.

This presentation is the brainchild of Drexel University alumnus Bryan Green.

“Shot on three different types of film and two differen types of video over three months with at least fifty actors/extras in about twenty-five locations in the West Philly area by one guy”

Very nice work, Bryan.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

...My Heart is Breaking...

I’ve stood all I can stand, friends.

No one else is allowed to go without my express written permission and I’m not giving it, so don’t even ask.

This is like losing your best friend, or your big brother.

It’s hard to pull together the words to describe my love for Heavy D. When it comes to the “soundtrack of my life,” this is high on the list. I popped two different tapes of Nuttin But Love. (And a third copy, if you believe me when I tell you can play a CD until it becomes warped like vinyl)

The style, the dancing, the music, Hev is one of the best representations of everything that was great about one of the happiest times in my life.

You’re on my mind. And I wish you a Peaceful Journey, Brother, I hope you hear me

Friends & Respect

We Got Our Own Thang

This video was so cool - Somebody for Me

This song rocks so the pay phone doesn't "date" the video, it just proves it's classic - Gyrlz, They Love Me

My theme song, because no one else was saying it then (and come to think of it, they don’t really say it now) - Black Coffee

Someone borrowed the visual from “Nuttin But Love” for this, but I’m just happy they posted it. This was always one of my favorites -This Is Your Night

Dancing with the Stars missed out. - Got Me Waiting Remix

You Can't See What I Can See

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

..."This is Only a Test"...

A friendly reminder in case you were living under the rock next to the one I was living under and didn't hear about this until now...

FEMA is conductiong their first nationwide Emergency Alert System test on Wednesday, November 9, at approximately 2:00pm, EST.
They want you to know it's only a test.

But considering the source, you should probably locate the nearest bunker anyway.

Visit the FEMA site for more information

Sunday, November 6, 2011

...I'm Not Sure They Understood the Rules..

I kind of think the host of Silent Library is cute, but I don’t really watch the show on a regular basis.

I happen to be home this week when this old episode featuring Jimmy Fallon and the Roots came on and I laughed myself silly.

In case you haven’t seen it, the point of the show is for six friends to win money by doing crazy stunts and remaining silent the whole time. Needless to say they always end up in a fit of giggles; and some teams are way worse than others. Jimmy and The Roots might be the unofficial champions of this.

They were doomed before they even flipped the first round of cards.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

...Birthdays are Awesome!!...


A time for reflection. For growth, hopefulness. For cake. For lying about your age.
I’m so happy right now, I’m almost nervous. But it’s true. I’m not quite over the habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I’m working on it. Right now, in fact.

Every so many minutes I sit up straight and smile at nothing. Then I close my eyes and appreciate the good feeling. If I fall asleep tonight and don’t wake up know that I went with a smile, and know that I love you and I’m glad that you come by to visit me.

You’re a good person.

Last year was a strange year for me. It’s like I opened a closest door and all the skeletons fell out. Some of them weren’t even my skeletons. Then they got up and started chasing me. Last I checked they were in the living room going on and on about how good my brownies are. Which, to be honest I do make really, really good brownies.

As I move forward in this next year of my life, I think if there is any one thing I’m going to promise to myself it’s that I’m not going to make any major promises to myself about anything. I still have goals, and plans, and dreams, and I’m still actively working toward them but I don’t feel the need to announce anything I have going on because I just don’t want to.
And I am a good enough reason.

Flying Lotus – Infinitum

I swear the version of this that I checked out from the library was a bootleg.
Kanye West & Jay-Z “That’s My Bitch”

Sunday, October 30, 2011

...This Was the Scariest Cartoon Ever...

I was seriously a little afraid of this cartoon growing up.
(Bugs Bunny in "Hyde and Hare")

And this Cliffhanger game used to have me in tears

Now if I could just find the old Mighty Mouse cartoon where he nearly didn't save the little mouse on the train track, I'd have the holy trilogy of horror that made me nearly poop my pants in fear as a kid.

Maybe next year...

Have a Safe and Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

...Last Night I Dreamt I Saw the End of the World...

Or maybe it was just the end of my world, I don’t know.

But I saw it very clearly and it was very scary.

Strangely, it was the third dream I’ve had in the last month that involved me being on fire or in a fire. One friend of mine happened to be in two of the dreams. The building in the third dream is a building I dream of often. I’ve never physically been to this building in my life and if I ever happen walk into it, I will turn around, walk right back out and keep walking until my legs give out. Then I will drag myself.

In the first dream, I was accidentally (I hope) set on fire by something I thought was dead.

In the second dream, I looked for a fire extinguisher to put out a fire in my mom’s basement only to be told that the only extinguisher in the house was, you guessed it, in the basement.

In the third dream, the one where I saw the end of the world, I was in a party I couldn’t get out of. Somehow I ended up in the lower level of the aforementioned building. There is an explosion. Then dinosaurs. Then Russell Brand. And finally the realization that I am trapped in burning building in a courtyard adjacent to multiple other burning buildings.

I know that some dreams are compilations of random thoughts, sometimes passing images, and vivid memories, but I believe that dreams can also have a real meaning or contain messages or clues.
So I pulled out all of the old dream books and revisited a few online favorites to figure out what all these fire dreams mean. Most sources divide the symbolism into three categories: negative, positive, and “the third one”

  • Fire in the Negative: repressed rage, or fear of raging
  • Fire in the Positive: purification; renewal or regeneration (which is interesting because Scorpios are often associated with the rise of the Phoenix and I am a Scorpio.)
  • Fire in the “Third One”: sex. There is always some source that suggest pretty much anything you dream about is related to sex. I don’t think that’s the case here, but I detail the dreams all the way down below the earworms, so you’re welcome to read and judge for yourself.

I thought about these alleged symbols- the first two, anyway- and I can see room for both of them to be correct.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

...Some Penguins Turn to a Life of Crime...

I was looking for a demonstration video on Blind Football when I found this. Don't ask me how it connects, but it's amusing.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

...You're Not On Your Job...

So last week, I mentioned how I believe that most parents try to do the best they can.

And now this week I’d like to have a word with the ones for which Child Protection Services was created.

If you’ve been reading this blog for longer than a minute, you know that I have never suffered from so-called baby fever. Contrary to popular opinion, this is not because I “hate” children. Yet, I will admit to having campaigned (unsuccessfully) to include dogs and cats on “bring your kid to work” day because I’d rather meet your puppy than your seven year old.

During some volunteer work I’ve had a few opportunities to find out that some wee little ones are pretty okay. They can be smart, polite, and even interesting. Not all of them smell like rotten fruit. Sometimes if you raise your voice a little and tell them to get into a circle, they’ll do it. That was a fun discovery. A lot of them have a genuine curiosity that I certainly appreciate. Many of them have their own cool personalities and don’t come across as mini adults, but wonderful kids.

I think the difference between the kids I kind of like, and the kids that are advertisements for birth control is definitely the parents. More than the schools, more than their friends, and almost more than the media, nearly everything the parent does shapes the child’s personality and influences their life choices.

Some little kids were outside playing the other day when I came in from work using language that I had only seen in adult books when I was their age. I eyed them suspiciously.

“That lady heard you.” one of them said.

“I don’t care!” he responded loudly. “I don’t give a f—k!”

I just shook my head. I bet his parents say the same thing about him all the time.

I’m open about my issues with kids. I’m aware of my shortcomings and since some of my eccentricity might be genetic, I choose not have any children.

But if you have decided to try and replicate your own DNA code with some other sucker who doesn’t know any better, let me remind you of your responsibilities as parents. These are real people we’re talking about. You can’t just toss them in a corner of the basement and forget about them. Well you could, but they might turn feral and kill you in your sleep so I wouldn’t recommend it.

I figure there are five critical responsibilities of parenting. They’re very similar and intertwine a bit, but they’re just different enough to cause a problem if you don’t keep up with any one of them. These concepts are universal because I actually came up with them a few years back, and they all still apply today. The first four aren’t in any particular order. The last one is the big bopper. It’s multidimensional and failure to comply will cost you in ways no one can afford.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

...This is Really Funny...

...Once you realize everyone's okay.

And yes, I realize you've been seeing this everywhere all week, but that's how long I've been laughing at it. And it's still funny.

And is it me, or do you almost get the impression that somewhere off camera there are a bunch of other animals laughing their hydes off?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

...This is Where It Comes From...

I happened to catch an episode of Basketball Wives the other day.

Someone told me that Tami Roman from the Real World LA had joined the cast and I’ve always found her entertaining and funny, so I tried to remember to watch one night. She wasn’t there, but a bunch of other stanky, skanky, ridiculously embarrassing broads were.

Just from first glance and general appearances this was what one might call, “Basketball Wives, Senior Edition” These chicks are all 59 or older if they’re a day.

And by no means do I mean to offend “seniors.” I come from a family where the women live well into their 80s, 90s, or better and they look good and stay healthy all the way in. I just mean this women are way, way past grown. Plus, that was just my assessment at first glance.

As the show went on, I started to think it was “Basketball Wives, Developmentally Delayed” edition.

If we wonder why young girls bully other girls over dumb stuff, look no further. This episode presented a step by step guide on gang up on a chick for apparently no other reason than you’re stupid and got too much time on your hands.

The episode I caught featured one old broad talking to another old broad about a third chick. They were googling her, basically to find reasons not to like her. They found a police report, feigned concern, and then decided to print it out to take to the other girls in the clique as proof that they shouldn’t like her. They also mention that “she needs her ass beat.”

Sunday, October 9, 2011

...It's the Beauty of Pixar...

Absolutely incredible, amazing and awesome work by the phenomenal Leandro Copperfield showing the magic, beauty and imagination of Pixar.

Movie buffs: Please also visit Leandro's blog to see astounding film appreciation like you've never seen before.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

...To Everything There is a Season...

This time of year always reminds me of when we were kids and we had to clean up the apples from our yard and the neighbor’s yard.

We had a huge backyard. HUGE. The trunk of our apple tree was so girthy (I meant that in the clean way) no one could wrap their arms around it. It spread out so far at the top, the apples would hit our house, our garage, fill up our above-ground pool, the alleyway and the yard of our next door neighbor. On the craziest of windy days the two houses across the alley from us and even their neighbor might find a few apples in their yard, too.

I was too small to rake so I was given a pair of garden gloves and picked up as many as I could to drop in the trash bag. I was a kid, so my energy level was high and I could run around back and forth all day. My sister on the other hand, in her usual irritated, overly dramatic performance might rake a few before she was “overcome” with outdoor allergies and had to run off for respite. Really though, some of the apples were rotten before they hit the ground and she was afraid of and grossed out by the worms.

I was told later that had we trimmed the tree regularly we might have been able to produce edible fruit. But most of these were bad. They had the most pleasant smell but they were almost always mushy soft and when they hit the roof, from inside the house it sounded like you parked your camper in the wrong end of a Punkin Chunkin field. 

This is still usually a nice time of year.

I take my official vacation this time of year. My birthday’s in November. Those addictive Honeycrisp apples are in back in season and I will eat about 8 caramel apples (not in a row, but within 3 weeks) before I decide I never want to see one again until next year. And the best part ever, the leaves change colors.

When I was little I asked my parents why the leaves change colors in the fall.

My dad gave his typical Dad answer: So you’ll pay attention to them before they go away.

My mom gave her typical Mom answer: “Why? Why not?”

It occurred to me that both answers could apply to the horrible tragedy that befell me upon returning to work after my vacation.

My boss walked into my office around 9 am.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

..."I Care"...

This PSA is at least a few months old, but I discovered it just a few weeks ago.
Get your hanky, then press play. And when you're done, let someone know that you care.

Be reminded and Should you ever need it:
1-800-273-TALK (8255) ~ 24 Hour National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

...I Laughed 'til I Cried...

I can’t remember the last time I honestly laughed out loud so much at something.

I needed it, too. There’s a lot going on these days and I managed to luck up on another freelance project. The deadline is tight on this one but this company is reputable so I’m going all in.

Still it’s stressful and I need a break and a laugh. These Haterazzi presentations are always good for a pick me up.

I laughed so hard at this one I was laughing for probably another ten minutes after it was over: Gucci Mane Lemonade the Movie.

And a couple more Evil Symbolic Breakdown analyses brought to you by the good Reverend Derrick Jones and the Light of the Lamb church. (I laughed just typing that)

Odd Future

The JJ Deception
Sad but true, I know someone that bought the whole set of original videos this spoof is based on. And no it wasn’t me. Even though I watched them and then got chased away with torches from an online forum for laughing at the ridiculousness of it.
Well, who’s laughing now?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

...Today is Peace Day...

My calendar says today is "Peace Day" so whether you've heard of it or not, go be peaceful.

If you're having a day like I am you're probably telling me to go fugg myself right about now. Backatcha.

Now that that's out of the way, I wanted to post something soothing and informational to help you on your way to being peaceful. And you know what?  It is surpisingly difficult to find some peaceful imagery that isn't annoying, didactic, or someone's plug for their friggin e-book. Or the music always sucks, or there's too much talking, usually by someone with a voice that makes you want to cut your ears off.

So I'm posting the cheeriest song I can think of with the most light-hearted video I can remember. Assuming there's no block put on it by corporate greed.

I present (I hope) Al Jarreau's "Mornin'"

Al Jarreau - Mornin' by Warner-Music

Sunday, September 18, 2011

...There Goes My Hero...

Watch him as he goes...

Or rather, watch "them" as "they" go.  You've seen this a few different places already and now you get to see it here, too. This is too cool to not post.

Whatever the so-called correct definition of a "hero,"  this is awesome, and these people rock!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

...This is Required Reading...

A few years ago I was reviewing The Roots “Rising Down” CD for the first time when I heard the song, Criminal, and felt inspired. I stopped everything to devote the time to writing a short play about voting.

Incredible illustration by Victor Juhasz
The main character has to travel a long way by foot, bus, and subway to reach her voting site. On the way she encounters and assists other voters meeting their own challenges including a disabled person arriving onsite to discover there is no wheelchair access, a student being asked for several pieces of ID including a drop of blood, a young mother being asked to sign over her infant, and an older gentleman with one hand in the process of having the other sawed off in order to cast his ballot. It becomes clear to her that casting her own vote is going to be no easy task so she takes a very specific action to ensure her voice is heard.

My mother was nearly impressed. Yes, I know, Mom doesn’t like anything I write so I’m as surprised as you are. She liked the idea in general but thought it was a bit melodramatic for the time. “This reads like you were around in the 60s.”

No, Mom, as it turns out, it reads like some time next year.

The September 15, 2011 issue of Rolling Stone features an Ari Berman article detailing activities of the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC), founded by Paul Weyrich and  funded in part by the Koch brothers (multibillionaires who financially support the Tea Party) that could make it incredibly difficult for you to vote if you are a student, a senior, a minority, an immigrant, or an ex-convict.

These laws could SEVERELY RESTRICT your “right” to vote.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

(The Falling Man)

This documentary is based on Tom Junod’s Esquire article on the Richard Drew photograph of a man falling from the World Trade Center on 9/11/01. The article details the search for the man’s identity in an effort to tell his life story.

The response to the publication of the photo was mostly anger. I think much of that anger seems to stem from our beliefs about suicide, the poisons that fuel those beliefs, our misunderstanding of despair and action, and the many poignant questions posed by the photo; questions which ten years later remain unanswered.

I have chosen to post this video because I don’t believe in turning away from something solely because it makes you uncomfortable, particularly if the cause of your discomfort could be from notions not necessarily your own. Only if you can, please watch and then decide for yourself.

The topic and imagery might be upsetting, so watch this only if you feel you are able. I understand that sometimes just viewing a disturbing image can be difficult and have lasting effects, so please feel free to visit other posts here, and skip this one.


If the embedded video does not work, you can view the documentary here or here

More information

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

...I Scream, You Scream...

I am officially on a diet so of course all I can think about is eating.

I bake in anguish because the baking relaxes me but someone has to eat the finished product, right? Times like this I wish I was married with children.

Anyway, the doctor told me I had to lose a few pounds and avoid any standing yoga poses for the next 30 days because of some heel pain in my left foot and some bruising and swelling at the ankle on my right foot.

I told him that it was yoga that had helped me lose all the weight I’ve lost so far. I’m not sure how much because I refuse to use the scale and haven’t weighed myself. But I’ve been able to fit into clothes that I couldn’t get into for at least a year. I wish you could have seen me the day I wore the little red sundress. Take my word for it, it was a good day.

Clearly this man, kind though he may have been, wasn't aware of how much weight a girl can gain in 30 days.

So I’ve been doing Sit and Be Fit videos and I found a book at the library called “Get Fit in Bed.” (I can read your mind, and you should be ashamed!) And I’m trying biking again since the only other no impact option available to me is swimming and I can’t swim. There’s also weight training, but that’s not as readily accessible to me as a bike.The problem is that the best path to the safe bike trail takes you right by the Dairy Queen.

Whose dumb idea was it to put an ice cream shop right there?

I haven’t had DQ in over a year. I think it must be true that yoga suppresses the appetite because I haven’t really wanted it. Two weeks off the wagon, and I’m dreaming about Heath Bar Blizzards.

I had been making up stories to keep me from wanting to go in there. Fantasies involving severed fingers in the strawberries or a dirty sponge in the cake. Then I remembered something that really happened to me some years back at another ice cream chain.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

...The Geek in Me Loves This...

This is just the sort of thing I would start pointing out in elementary school and end up getting sent to the principal’s office for it.

Ed Rondthaler on English Spelling

Ed Rondthaler on English spelling from Bob Smartner on Vimeo.
Via bbcblog via randomnization via the awesomer

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

...Sometimes the Calm Comes *After* the Storm...

Beautiful video that happens to be set to (quiet as it’s kept) my absolute all time, forevermore favorite song, Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.

This is especially interesting to me because I’ve been doing a lot of cloud watching lately. The weather’s been so odd and there have been so many amazing formations. Plus, it’s one of the few things that regularly helps to keep me calm since a slight injury forced me to reduce the workouts.

The good people over at the BBC Ice Cream blog have shared with us Shadi’s video, Calm after Irene. My cloud shots are after the jump.

“There was a beautiful sunset today after a gloomy weekend. I ran to my roof as fast as i could and filmed it. The music you hear was in my head as i watched the clouds speed by. I hope you enjoy watching”

Calm after Irene from on Vimeo.

Now Play the Cloud Game!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

...(I) "Don't Play No Game...

...That I Can't Win"

I used to do some pretty elaborate things with my Barbies when I was a kid, but never came up with anything quite like this.
(Beastie Boys "Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win" f/ Santigold)

~~ Friends on the east coast, please be safe and know that you are in our thoughts

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

...We Honor Nick Ashford...

Obviously I don’t have any expectations that people should live forever.

We get older, or we get sick. Accidents happen. Doesn’t make it any easier when someone leaves your life in the physical sense of things. Certain things are just what they are.

Odds are if you were a black kid growing up in the 80s (or if you were the white kid that hung out with us), you heard a lot of Ashford and Simpson. You just did. That’s how it was.

You have some story about something that happened that you never forgot. It still makes you laugh, cry, cringe or smirk to think about. If the right song is playing, you can’t go four words past the phrase “Remember that one time…” without at least one other person chiming in before you’re done speaking. The memory remains connected to the song:

Remember that time Em came over and Mom offered him a hot dog right off the grill? And she told him to let it cool off first? And he didn’t?

Yes I remember. I remember I never saw a chunk of hot dog fly so far directly from someone's mouth. And I remember what song was playing , too.

I suppose the best thing about being as great of an artist and songwriter as Nick Ashford is that you never really go away. While the body may lie down to rest, the spirit always rises.

We celebrate and we honor that spirit.

My favorite song ever written by Ashford and Simpson
Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell – You’re All I Need to Get By (their favorite too )

My other favorite song ever written by Ashford and Simpson
Chaka Khan – I’m Every Woman (her favorite too )

Seriously funny story attached to this one, but it’s all visual, so I guess you had to be there.
Ashford & Simpson - Street Corner

Ashford & Simpson - Street Corner by klmbaby

And because you can’t salute him without it…Solid
I promise you somewhere in the world right now this is being played at a wedding anniversary party, and/or family reunion.

Ashford & Simpson ~Solid~ by LibertedExpression

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

...They *Do* Exist...

I feel – surprisingly- okay.

Surprising maybe because I passed two car accidents and a house fire on my way to work this morning. By the time I pulled into the parking lot at work I was so shaky all over I had to wait a minute before I got out the car. And when I finally got out my legs were still wobbly underneath me.


I accept that it might be like this for awhile while I’m trying to re-settle myself after everything, but I’m trying to practice an extreme attitude of gratitude in order to force my focus on to something that will actually benefit me.

I still believe that there’s a learning experience in everything, but I want to make sure I’m learning something valuable. I feel like I’ve learned that kindness, generosity, concern, and assistance are wasted emotions and activities, but that’s not valuable, so I’m trying to learn something else.

As part of this “experiment” I’m supposed to look for the miracle in things. For example, it is a miracle that I survived the last few months without doing something that would lead to jail time, a straitjacket, or both.

So one thing or thought leads to another, and I realize that it’s not that difficult to come up with at least three occasions in the last 30 days where I’ve crossed paths with kindness in one form or another.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

...My Dad Would Enjoy This...

Tomorrow is Dad's birthday~

You know how it is… you hear or see something that reminds you of something else. But it occurred to me one day as much as my father claimed to not like hip hop or what was then “modern” R&B, there was always some video that would make him stop what he was doing and pay attention every time it came on.

If it was funny, had a message, or had pretty girls, it pretty much had him hooked. Blame “The Box” and “Video Soul”… it was hard to not get addicted.

Wrecx-n-Effect – New Jack Swing

Rumpshaker (of course.) This video used to make me gag because of that one scene. “Ladies,” please try to keep your tongue in your mouth when you dance. It’s not cute.

What you really look like dancing with your tongue out

Diamond D – Sally Got a One Track Mind.

Heavy D and the Boyz – Nuttin but Love (Count the cameos, including Kim Porter mouthing the words, “What’s yours is mine” around the 4 minute mark. No surprise.)

Black Sheep – Strobelite Honey

Gangstarr - Just to Get Rep (notice there are no actual guns in this video)

3rd Bass- Gas Face

A Tribe Called Quest – Bonita Applebum. Her bum wasn’t all that, but this song was/is/will always be awesome.

And something Dad would most certainly not approve of. One wonders why a Minister and Deacon are carrying knives and tasers in the first place.

Thursday, August 11, 2011


One is brilliant, he just needs to talk less.
The other still has one of the best smiles ever.
The song is freaking amazing. And I think I might have had a physical reaction to this video.

Kanye West & Jay-Z "Otis"

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

...Hindsight is 20/20...

I was once interviewed by the FBI years ago after a co-worker at a major bank I worked for was caught embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars.

I was a CSR-I (a “customer service representative-level 1, which was just a fancy word for “bank teller”). The co-worker in question was a CSR-II. CSR-IIs were responsible for opening accounts and giving special attention to high level clients. So when “Deena” opened an account for “Mr. Jones” with a starting balance of about $180,000, no one was suspicious. Mr. Jones had made some wise business decisions overseas and was also apparently very lucky at gambling. Within weeks there were additional deposits in the tens of thousands each time.

Deena’s job was to open accounts and bring in wealthy clients so it was all in a day’s work to find Mr. Jones and make him a customer. She was also one of the newer and less experienced CSR-IIs, and presumably felt the pressure to compete with the others, especially “Rasheed” who was known for bringing in crazy large business accounts. I’m talking opening balances of tens of millions and in some cases hundreds of millions. (This was a major bank.)

One day for no reason in particular the teller line ended up in a discussion about the mysterious Mr. Jones. Everyone had performed at least one transaction for Deena related to his account- all withdrawals exceeding $30,000. You needed approval for a withdrawal that large but we often went to different supervisors for the approval, so there was never anyone to connect the dots right away.

The lead supervisor was standing nearby listening to us and investigated with the bank manager. It turns out that in Deena’s haste or greed she had overdrawn the Jones account.

At this time, it was assumed that Mr. Jones was being taken advantage of, except for one small problem: there was no Mr. Jones.

And the money never existed.


Sunday, August 7, 2011

...You Spin Me Round, Round...

Tommy Lee is still hot and can still get it.

I don't care how many times I see him do it, I always want to see it again.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

...It's Me, Again...

Well it’s nearly out of my system.

I still feel pretty sick and hurt by everything that’s happened. I never would have imagined myself here. Not ever and especially not with all the involved parties or under the specific circumstances. At one point in absolute desperation to resolve the issue, I asked Predator what exactly it was about me that was causing them to be the way they were with me. The answer? “Because I don’t think you deserve more happiness than I do.”

We went around in circles on that for a minute. It sounds ridiculous but it was a serious argument, and they were really mad and meant every word and I was just confused.

Me: Are you seriously telling me that you’re mad at me because I seem like I’m content with my life?
Them: Yep. You think you’re f---ing perfect.
Me: No, I don’t and I’ve never said that, you keep saying that. You keep making the “perfect” comments. That’s not how I feel, that’s how you feel.
Them: You’re not better than me. You could be me. You would be me if you ever got out and lived your life.

I still don’t understand that. I don’t even know what that means. I do get out; I do live my life. I’m just not living their life, and it feels like they hate me for it. Plus, by their definition “getting out” and “living my life” means I will turn into deluded, angry, brainless person who turns on everyone that’s ever been kind or helpful to me and then blames them for all of my problems. Makes no sense to me.

In the end, acknowledging that the other person involved was a complete fruit basket has been helpful, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t examine my role in the whole scenario. It’s the only way I’ll learn, not for next time, but in being sure there is no next time.

I came up with five things I should have done differently, and three things to keep in mind to make sure I never do the five things again.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

...You Have to Back It Up...

We can't all drive backwards like Diddy in the Hypnotize video, but this is pretty ridiculous.

And I should apologize in advance since you will definitely spend the rest of the day randomly spouting, "reverse... reverse..."

And in case you forgot...("Hypnotize")

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

...It's You...

Things are still not great.

The main reason I’m in such distress is because I’m still not allowed to speak about what’s going on. It’s interesting how there are so many of us who are so ill because we choose to hold on to things in order to protect others. And yet, none of it would even be an issue if someone else had put the same effort into protecting us in the first place. Or better still, if we thought enough of ourselves to be our own protectors.

Predator complaining about something...again.
My personal Predator is being allowed to manhandle, manipulate, and skip off scot-free because they have a life threatening condition. Allegedly.

As horrible as this sounds, you’ll never convince me they didn’t develop this condition as just another tactic to abuse the people closest to them. In fact, I wonder if they even really have it. If it’s really life threatening, and if it’s really made worse by stress, I wonder how they’ve managed to live this long. According to them, I am nothing more than a walking stress factor for them.

And yet they go on breathing.

Predator is in my home, on my nerves, complaining about everything and making it overwhelmingly clear to me that not only will evil show its ugly face on your doorstep, but it will eat your last fruit cup and not tell you until you go looking for it.

I mentioned before that I was looking into the Borderline Personality Disorder as a possible explanation for Predator’s disturbing behavior. I don’t typically believe in things like this. I think there can be a chemical imbalance sometimes. I think drugs or alcohol or even sex can fundamentally alter the mind. I think some people have traumatic experiences and can have difficulty coping either because they lack the knowledge, skills, or energy to do things differently. But I don’t believe every person who makes a series of bad choices does so because they are mentally ill. I think a lot of them are just bad choice-makers. And some of them are just dumb jerks.

I think Predator is a bad choice-making dumb jerk... even if the BPD signs are there.

According to these books, it all comes down to a feeling of emptiness, unworthiness, and fear of abandonment or rejection. BPDs act this way mostly with people they love because they want to prove themselves right. If they can push you away, then it must be true. They are unworthy and unlovable.

If that’s not the most assbackwards …

Sunday, July 24, 2011

..."Little Man, I've Had a Busy Day"...

Another long time favorite.

I still don't know which part I love more: the bank (I want to deposit $200 please. It's in pennies.) or the salon of beauty (Of course not lady, someone just came along and put it there to annoy you.)

("Wild Wife" (Merrie Melodies))

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

...It's Me...

You'll have to excuse me.
I'm in the middle of a nervous breakdown.
Please enjoy this classic Fu-Schnickens video and I'll see you next week.

Fu-schnickens – Breakdown

Sunday, July 17, 2011

...I Stayed In this Sunday...

But Brother Franklin went all out.

I hope you always find time in your day to do at least one thing you "feel like" doing :)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

...Eggshells are Bound to Crack at Some Point...

Seems like every time I sit down to do some work on this blog, when I go back to edit I find something like this hidden in the text:

I try to hide it from my brain, but my heart is very much aware of how I feel about you. I do not like you, barely love you, and have in the past wished that you were dead just to be free of you. There are times when you make comments about killing yourself that some small part of me feels happy anticipation that you might do it; and other parts of me that knows that you are a liar, a fake, a complete phony, and you love to talk about your misery, but action is no longer part of who you are.

Here’s another one:

You say you try to get XXXXX to leave you alone but they won’t go. But if our relationship is any indication, I think realistically, you scream at them to go away all while you hold on to them to make them stay because you think you are shit when you’re alone.
I’m starting to think you’re shit, too.
A pathetic, narcissistic, head on backwards, delusional, disrespectful, lying, abusive, dumbass….

And it goes on. These aren’t even in the same article. I have a ton of articles (I stopped counting at 9) that I started but couldn’t finish because I was distracted by something, time constraints, or just frustrations. When I go back to look them over and see what the possibilities are, at some point I find a paragraph or two that as best as I can tell was written by some angry alter ego.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

..."Wait 'til You See these Swell Programs"...

While we're still (sort of) on the subject of TV, check out this fine programming produced by Spike the dog for the Warden. There are a million funny little details here.

"Cellbound" (Tex Avery)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

...It's Show Time!!...

Possibly the only thing worse than the state of modern music is the state of modern television. With the exception of Wipeout and almost anything on the History Channel, I don't really watch much TV anymore.

I used to be one of those people that had the TV on all the time just for "background noise" but I found that even though I wasn't paying attention to it, it was doing something weird to the atmosphere. I'm just inches away from cancelling my cable altogether.  So I found myself feeling a little big nostalgic for all the things I loved about TV as a kid.

Join me, won't you?

As I started putting this list together, it got crazy long and out of control. So in an effort to force myself to narrow it down, I had to set up some criteria:
  • Great theme music (Which is one of the ways this list got so out of control in the first place)
  • Great childhood memories to go along with it. ( I remember this one time…)
  • Show needed to actually be good (as in “entertaining program I actually looked forward to seeing on a regular basis.)
  • I could find it online. (Obviously)
And that’s it… let’s go.

(In no particular order)

Great Space Coaster - This makes me flash back to getting my hair combed in the morning before school. And the time Cassie got frostbite. (HAHAHA. I'll have to tell you about that one day.)

The Fall Guy - Why did every show in the 80s have a similar looking blonde chick on it?

A Different World - The show wasn't as good during the later seasons but I chose this version of the theme because Boyz II Men sang it, and I had the biggest crush on Mike McCary back then.

21 Jump Street - Seriously, just don't even call me on Sunday at 7p.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

...Maybe It's Just My Eyes...

The coolest thing about this video was that it didn’t matter what you were looking at, your eyes always found something hot to behold.

I mean, really, this video always made me question my sexuality a little bit.
(Shakira and Beyonce – Beautiful Liar)

Beyonce & Shakira - Beautiful Liar by EtienneEvolution

I like to watch this video because, well I like to watch it. And because I wanted to remember Beyonce and Shakira as they once were, all firm and fully-packed with the fluffy hair.

Both have since become noticeably slimmer, and dare I say it lightened up. Not just the straightened goldilocks, but as I recall they were both somewhere between honey gold and brown sugar, and now they just look like gluten free flour, or something.

You wouldn’t think the look would matter so much (Jennifer Lopez sucked even before she was hit with the white wand), but I can’t help feeling it does.

I’m not one of those annoying people that doesn’t ever want your favorite artist to change. Evolution is a good thing. But when are we going to stop thinking that in order to “evolve”, you should be less than, um, substantial… or less than, oh hell, I’ll just say it: brown.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

...Fire Sucks!!...

For our friends in the line of fire, praying for something to change.

I guess it’s true: there are no atheists in foxholes.

And while I consider myself more of an agnostic, you still might find it strange that I prayed to whatever was out there earlier this evening when the utility room adjacent to my apartment caught fire.

I didn’t even realize how close it was until I was out of the building. I had just enough time to grab my Emergency Exit Kit before the smell became so strong that I had to leave. My Houseguest was using the computer so it wasn’t in the bag, and since they didn’t bother to get up and move for the door until I ordered them to do so, it never made it into the bag. My poor Snowflake (that’s the computer’s name) was nearly a casualty.

 I had been in the kitchen preparing my lunch for tomorrow when I started smelling a bad oily smell.

I looked toward the window to a gray sky but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. I sniffed in the general direction of the odor, then into the kitchen, then back to the back wall where the vents were. I opened my window and saw a woman in one of the grassy playfields to the left staring back up at me. Maybe more like towards me.

And then I saw a big puff of black smoke billow across my field of view.

I pressed my face to the screen hoping to see a nearby neighbor fanning at a smoking gas grill. When I didn’t see anything more than the frozen neighbor, I just knew something was wrong.

 I changed my shirt, threw on some shoes, and grabbed my purse and the kit. I was trying to pack up the computer when the smell overwhelmed me and I decided we needed to go. I tapped the doorknob for heat and when it was safe, we filed out of the back door, banging on other apartment doors as we went.

When we were safely outside we could see smoke and flames shooting out of the grated vent. Two women from the complex were approaching the building. They were on their way to the pool when they smelled the smoke. One of them happened to work in the office and came in with her key to unlock the door. From where I stood in the parking lot I kept my eyes trained on the smoke and held my breath that I wouldn’t see flames creeping towards the roof or coming from my window.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

...This is the Best Ever Salute to Dads...

I only hope that this video remains available because you won't find a better salue to Dads.
Put your hands together for Junyer and Ma Bear...

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

...You Have to Write it Down...

My head spins.

I was stretching my neck one day in a meeting, and someone told me it looked like my head was going to go all the way around. Someone else joked that I needed an exorcist. More than likely, I just needed to do some writing: absolute BEST stress reliever on the planet except for maybe laughing or walking your dog. Yep, even better than that other thing you were thinking of.

The reason writing works so well for relaxing you is that it gives you an opportunity to corral all the randomness and toss out any junk. It’s a de-clutter activity. Thoughts need room to move and explore, and writing creates space.

So if you’re having a crappy day, or feel overwhelmed with things to do, try to take a few minutes to write things down.

Don’t worry about the spelling or grammar, or what kind of paper it is, (be it lined, sketch, or graphing) or what you write with (although I’m going to ask you to avoid blood for all the obvious reasons), just get it down.

In fact, sometimes using something non-conventional helps. I have a couple of really old typewriters- yes, really- that I use, but I’ve also been known to use colored- glitter glue sticks, chalk, water-based paints, crayons, cray-pas, markers, coloring pencils, refrigerator magnet letters, and if you use small enough pieces to maneuver, Play-Doh formed into letters, into words.

It doesn’t even have to be words. It your mind operates differently and you would prefer to draw something, or tear a picture out of a magazine or newspaper then by all means, knock yourself out.

The technique is only half of the expression, the rest of the expression is the message: What do you have to say?

Maybe you feel like you don’t have anything to say, or that you have nothing to talk about but, trust me, you do. There’s something you’ve been holding all day. Or something that’s been on your mind since last week. Or something really odd that happened that you just need to get out or a funny memory that you want to share with someone. (Remind me later to tell you about the time I was confronted by a raccoon in a dumpster.)

 If you still need a little boosting, then allow me….Pick any one of these, or two or more, and get going!

 General observations o’ the day.
Aim to get at least five things down, and try to make at least three of them positive things.
If you want, you can make a point of throwing in at least one negative thing just to get it out of your system, but you should always have at least one more positive than negative when you’re done.
Feel free to throw in some random observation as well. My list for yesterday would look something like this:

  1.  Music makes a long drive better.
  2. One of the best things about being single (or as I once referred to it in an argument, “relationship neutral”) is that you can eat cereal for dinner and no one is going to complain about it.
  3. The “meat” on a White Castle cheeseburger doesn’t look like any identifiable meat product, and yet it’s a darn tasty burger.
  4. Sleep sprays are awesome.
  5. Moms are awesome.
  6. (and for one negative thought) I think (person’s name here) might seriously need some counseling. And possibly rehab.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

...I Think a Mixtape is in Order...

I showed this video to someone awhile back, and we agree, Fam and Chad are way past due for a mixtape, and their version is better than the original.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

...I Started It, Now I'm Ending It...

I’m not sure when this happened, but it looks like someone “plus one’d” every single post on all three of my blogs. (I think... or does everyone start at one?)

Assuming this isn’t the set up for a horrible prank, and assuming you don’t have OCD (which wouldn’t make you any less awesome), and you weren’t in the middle of some sort of clicking tic, let me say, thank you so very kindly!

You are very, very, very much appreciated…. My friend (or friends), you rock!

It’s nice to feel encouraged.

Unfortunately, I still had to shut down one of the blogs: Naked and Beautiful bites the dust.

When I started the blog, I had developed three theories that I wanted to prove:
  1. Feeling good about yourself is independent of what you look like.
  2. What you think you look like is mostly based on flawed information.
  3. There is a pure, undisturbed heart at the core of your being; it is the real you, and it is your most beautiful part.
Too many of us feel flawed because a body part doesn’t look a certain way, or we don’t think we get enough attention, compliments, or positive feedback on our physical aspects. We have assumed the identity of our collection of parts, and we work to “improve” those parts, instead of working to grow our hearts, evolve our lives, and care for our communities. Sounds a little backwards, doesn’t it? Our identities shouldn’t be so tightly knotted to our physical appearance.

I always felt that if I could create a perfect world, none of us would have actual bodies. No sickness, or disabilities. We would all be freeform, free-floating energy. (I’m still undecided about if we’d have to have real heads or not because it would just be something else superficial to judge, but definitely no bodies.)

Alas, we do have physical bodies in a material world. So I set out to blow away the smoke and expose the mirrors on all those things deliberately set free in the atmosphere with the intention of making you think you are bad, wrong, or otherwise imperfect as you are, if only to sell you the solution to your problem.

Sadly, it didn’t quite turn out the way I planned and before I knew it, I was part of the problem. If ever a blog could derail and explode, this one really left the track in a fireball.

My first mistake was the title. In my head, the word naked meant “whatever you may be, in the purest state of that being “ and beautiful meant “your being is wonderful and graces the world.”

Well, I severely underestimated the amount of people that devote time to searching for “naked” or “beautiful” people on the web. Turns out in their heads, the words “naked and beautiful” meant, in a nutshell (haha), porn. In hindsight, it seems a little obvious, but I swear to you at the time it seemed like a good idea.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

...The Revolution Will Live On...

A family emergency left me completely out of the loop for nearly a week, so I was very late to hearing about the passing of Gil Scott-Heron.

I had the pleasure of meeting him once, very briefly many, many years ago at a poetry reading arranged by a teacher of mine. I told him I was a "some time poet" and he told me there was no such thing. He told me, "every word is important once you say it."

I never forgot that. And I will never forget him.

Definition of a Poet

"I'm New Here"

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

Lupe Fiasco's tribute is here.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

...I'm Number One!!... I'm Number One!!....

I hate colds. Especially summer colds.

I have one right now, and let me tell you, it bites the big one. Considering the body aches, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was more like the flu. Whatever it is, it’s miserable.

You all know by now how much I struggle with maintaining control of my time. I think I’m really honest about my frustrations with giving up too much of myself to meet the needs of other people. The same people that I know have never, and would never, do the same for me. My last three “vacations” were really spent accommodating the needs of others, and doing a lot of running around. I’ve also been running around a lot on the weekends.

I’m pooped.

I want a rest. I need a break. Oh, and did I mention Parasite keeps dropping by and “accidentally” leaving things at the house? I think they’re trying to do a covert move-in operation. I knew I should have swung and moved when I had the chance.

So I’ve been wondering: If thoughts are things, and things can be alive; and all living things must die, can you be killed by your thoughts?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

...You Have to Know Your Role...

Or as Biggie might have said, “Play your position.”

You’ve heard this before, haven’t you?

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do (for) each person.

In short...
  • "Reason People” come in, do their thing (meet a purpose for you), and they’re out as quickly as they came.
  • “Season People” are supposed to almost always be a blessing. They bring wonderful things to your life and then they fade away. (I miss my “special-plastic-key ring-playing-musically-gifted” friend. There, I said it. Now fly, little thought, into the universe, and be heard!)
  • “Lifetime People” are those folks you’re stuck with, good or bad. And you learn a lot of foundation-building, life-shattering, core-shaking stuff from them, good or bad. What you learn from them goes with you everywhere into all your other learning experiences. Sometimes they are love and light, and sometimes they just suck. They are always there until one of you… isn’t.

Well, we’re all people, right?

So even though when most of us read this, we think of who the various players are in our life and whether they are Reason, Season, or Lifetime People, how often do we stop to think which type of person we might be to someone else?

You probably don’t have to think very hard to conjure up the image of someone in your life that, as best as you can figure serves no purpose in space or time. I mean, really, utterly useless as a human being in general, and more specifically someone you’ve fantasized about pushing down a flight of stairs. Not necessarily a co-worker or passing associate but people more deeply implanted in your life either by accident, incident, or family ties.

It’s tempting to try and take the spiritual approach and look for ways this person might be the messenger of a very critical life lesson. But then, what do we do when we realize this individual is as dumb as a jar of dog doo, and only half as practical? Aside from faking our own death, there’s only so much dodging that can be done to avoid these people.

So I find myself in the position of waking up to an old, familiar leech back in my life, who for the sake of this post, we’ll refer to as “Parasite.”

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

...This is the Greatest Hip Hop Video Ever...

I have to be careful what I say here because I don't want to get this pulled.

For some reason, any time I would look for this video with the captions, it would always say something about the video not being allowed in my region.  The heck? Without the captions, it becomes all the cliches it's supposed to be knocking down. Sounds like a conspiracy to me... c-o-n..spiracy.

All that said, I am super, super excited to have found it and think it's worthy of it's very own singular post. Ladies and gentlemen... The, um... "foundation of trees, or families" with uh, "That which those ones execute" - complete with the captions!

(My apologies for the autoplay; one of these days I'll figure out how to turn it off. I rock!)

Sunday, May 15, 2011

...It's Tucked in to my Socks!!!...

~ And other guaranteed laughs. Could you use a few?

A Shirt Story:
The synching is a little off on this version, but it's so overall funny it shouldn't bother you too much.

Goodbye, Mr. Gibbs:
It's hard to believe Marlon Wayans isn't a bigger star in comedy. I think his performance here is loosely based on one of my aunts.

White People are Friendly:
Katt Williams gives one of many examples.

Hey Baby!!:
Well at least the baby has a job.

White Boys Love Me:
Tisha Campbell Martin demonstrates that you don't have to have a perfect body to feel good about your looks

Once You Go Tantric:
Just watch

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

...Your Conscience Might Be Giving You a Bum Steer...

Of all the things I’ve lost. I think I miss myself the most.

I was in there somewhere, and somehow along the way, I got careless and lost some pieces.

Of course, my mind was in there. Some attitude, a different body… an itty bitty piece of spirit I tried to keep separate from the rest in case I needed it. (Don’t you hate when that happens? You put something some place special so you don’t forget where you put it… and then you forget where you put it!)

Anyway, I’m sure I’m around somewhere. I'm confident I'll turn up before the week is out.

This is NOT a complaining post. I prefer to think of it as a sideways gratitude post.

It seems as soon as I got close to having everything right where I wanted it to be, it all shifted sideways.

But I’m going to say I’m grateful anyway because it could be worse.

Actually, it couldn’t be that much worse, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I figure as long as I keep telling myself it hasn’t completely turned to poop, then it hasn’t.

Be resolved to be resolved.

Someone I loved and respected very much said that to me once. I took it to mean that you will most certainly come up on the strangest and greatest of obstacles the minute you resolve to do something. The goal is to remain focused and follow through on your resolution. Whatever it is you have resolved to do, be committed in your thoughts and actions to do it.

Not sure who the big clown of the universe was who decided to test my resolve, but it is surely being tested.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

(Happy Mother's Day!)

To great moms everywhere!!

And for the less than traditional Mother's Day gift idea... (consider this your warning)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

(Gone Fishin')

I’m still in the process of reviewing and editing this blog and I’m working on two freelance assignments that I happened to land at the same time. (Woohoo! Let’s hope they lead to more)

The bad news is there won’t be a formal post this week. Please take a minute to pretend you are sad about it.

The good news is you get to enjoy this great “Gone Fishin” art created by Becca. Her stuff is so sassy, I love it! I posted a few other amazing drawings that caught my eye, but you should visit her tumblr to see more of her incredible talent. You can also visit the BeccaShop to order items or request some original artwork. Her prices are pretty reasonable, and I've always contemplated doing some pin up style poses myself.  Maybe I'll try it and post the results... maybe.

And if you enjoy fun little finds like these and you haven’t already taken a peek at my other blog, Awesome Inspiration, please do so. If I had a really large museum of art, music, poetry and literature, this would be it—if museums were in 2D.

I like the hair on this one - "Agent Foxy"

I like the hair on this one, too - "Columbia and Magenta"

"Tiki Streaks"

"Saucy Space Girl"

Velma, Daphne, and Scooby

I hum this song a lot, pretty much all the time at work. And whenever someone asks me what it’s called for some dumb reason, I always want to say, “Rita” …At least I had a woman’s name in there.
Perez Prado - Patricia

And one more from the Mambo king
April in Portugal