Sunday, January 30, 2011

...If that Groundhog Sees his Shadow… I Will Kill Him...

And how does anyone know what the groundhog "sees" anyway? Do they ask him? And if he answers, maybe we should be putting him to better use.

Pffft. I’m sick of snow. I’m tired of brushing it off the car and driving over it and trying not to slip on it everywhere I go. But I know that’s the wrong attitude.

Snow just wants to be appreciated and loved, but it’s a little mistreated. It’s either being run over or stomped on or shoveled aside, blown away... tinkled on. The best it can hope for is being scooped into a snowman, but even then it eventually melts away without hearing so much as a “thank you.”

I once sat down to write a story about a snowman and it turned into a story about a woman noticing signs of aging and getting all depressed about it. Sorry about that. I was re-reading a lot Hemingway at the time. I ended up deleting the story and showing full respect to snow by writing another story. This time the snowman got to tell his own story. And he took a few people down with him when he went away for the season.

Go snow, go!

No really, you can go now.

Warm hugs and kisses to all the good people throughout the northeast. I have a good friend that lives out that way. Hopefully he’s safe and not buried under a pile of snow. If you see him, hit him with soft snowball for me.

In the meantime, at least some of the pictures are pretty.


(I'm reasonably sure this next one is a car)

Photo credits
  1. Snow dude: Daniel Gagney via TWC
  2. Snow at Temple University: Patrick Destefano via TWC
  3. Snowball fight at Dupont Circle, Jan 26:  via twitter via TWC
  4. Brooklyn NY twc via tomas palacios, facebook
  5. D.C Dome
  6. Snow-mobile
  7. Ronald Marsh riding his bike in Massachusetts on January 12. I’m not sure if that’s just commitment or he needs to be committed. Next time, take the day off!
See a full slideshow

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

...I'm in a Bit of a Pickle, Dick...

I promise to not get used to using these movie lines but sometimes they work.

Here’s the dilemma

You have a good relationship with someone but it’s fairly distant, so maybe what you share is borderline minimal or surface. You still like the person, what you do share builds a bond between you, but you aren’t exactly joined at the hip and your “connection” is only so many layers deep.

You know the person kind of well, and you really like them, but there’s still some things you don’t know about them and some things they don’t know about you. And you assume they like you at least a little, but in this moment you can’t say for sure. So an opportunity presents itself. Do you:

   A) Tell them the truth even though it might make them flip out with cornucopia of bad emotions. And at the least it might embarrass the hell out of you, at the most it will leave you humiliated and ashamed.

   B) Continue with the lie omission of information and hope they don’t notice or hope that you can somehow pull off some major stunt without them being any the wiser

   C) Make up some excuse or otherwise find a way to avoid the situation all together, effectively running away without letting the cat out of the bag, but probably ruining something special

Sunday, January 23, 2011

...I Got Worms..

That's a nod to that scene from Dumb and Dumber but I am referring to earworms, or those songs I get stuck in my head. When I include those on the end of the post, I'm not being cutesy, they really are songs that have been stuck in my head.Sure there are times when the song matches the overall theme of the post, but usually that's just because the song inspired the post.
Sometimes sections of a song will play in a loop for weeks at a time, sometimes the whole song keeps repeating, but I will get something up in there and it won’t come out for anything. It doesn’t bother me. It’s actually kind of fun and probably keeps me from road raging or going on killing sprees at work, but sometimes they are a pain...

...If I’m just hearing sections of a song, a faint part of the melody, or one line of lyrics but I can’t figure out what song it is.

...If it’s a song that I love, love, love but maybe can’t remember the exact title or artist so I can’t find it to hear it and try to get it out of my system.

...If it’s a song that l like, like, like, but really want it to leave me alone because it’s been stuck there for months. (Seriously that “Unicorn Song” from the Despicable Me soundtrack is starting to hurt.)

And then there are the songs that get stuck that I don’t even like, and sometimes downright hate and wish they were never born. They burrow deeply into my brain, turn on a disco ball, and boogie down against my will. (Sorry, I’ve been watching a lot of movies from the 70s over the last few weekends.)

If ever there was a funky worm or two, these songs qualify.

Pink – Raise Your Glass

I should love this song since it’s a salute to individuality, but I don’t (yet). I haven’t liked P!nk for a while now, but it’s stuck in my head anyway. Between the radio and video rotations, I estimate that I hear this song 177 times per hour. The video is kind of fun though.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

...It's Called Mad Money...

Because you’re mad you have to spend it? I’m just guessing.

The first couple times the heat went out in my car, it was kind of funny.

I had a modified version of the Omarion song replaying in my head: I got this icebox where my car used to be, icebox where my car used to be. Ohhhhhh, I’m so cold, I’m so cold, I’m so cold…

A few thousand dollars and several tow truck rides later, the laughter had died down considerably. The last time I took my car into the shop they made it plain to me that I needed to cut my losses and move forward. “When we’re done, you need to drive straight to the dealer and trade that piece of [crap] in before it breaks down again.”

I have a billion (well, three) reasons not to buy a new car.

  1. It feels a little out of priority to buy a new car while I’m still renting an apartment.
  2. I’m annoyed at the thought of driving a new car during winter, also known as car-skiing season. (We become God’s game of curling with our cars as stones.)
  3. The idea of having a car payment again sucks.
I don’t believe in spending money just because it’s there. As far as I’m concerned, every dollar has a purpose. I’m one of those people with multiple savings accounts who also squirrels money all over the house just so I can get lucky and accidentally find it again later.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

...Jimmy Fallon Rocks...

I had this music in my head for a while thinking I was on some unfamiliar Prince song and it ended up being this old Jimmy Fallon "classic"

There's not enough just "plain funny" out there. Nothing about race, gender, age, or politics. It doesn't insult or offend, and you can repeat in front of your parents or your kids without having to censor it to death. I love all things funny, but I have a special appreciation for the delightful silliness that is Jimmy Fallon.

History of Rap: Justin Timberlake, Jimmy Fallon, The Roots
- Watch more Hiphop Videos at Vodpod.

A really great song is always a great song even if it's a little different.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

...We Persevere...

The assassination attempt on Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford is going to be overanalyzed to bits and pieces for the next few however long.

The headlines say, “who is to blame?”

I say, “Who knows?”

I don’t know when finger-pointing has ever resolved an issue so I don’t bother.

We all have a responsibility in this. We owe each other to listen, and really hear. We owe each other to care more, and to do the right thing. It’s important that we look ahead and move toward the light. And it’s important that we peak around corners to see if there’s anyone in the dark that needs help toward the light.

I hope this doesn’t become an opportunity for politicians to remain or otherwise become further detached from the people they were elected to serve, and I hope this doesn’t vilify and stigmatize the mentally ill.

Ultimately I wish Ms. Gifford a full recovery, peace of mind to those that had to experience this event, and comfort to the family and friends of those victims that did not survive this tragedy.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

...If You're Feeling Froggy- - Leap!...

On my drive to work there is one section of the road that has this mild, somewhat blind, curve on it that turns into death alley anytime there's a drop of snow on it.

The speed limit on this particular stretch of road is 45 mph. On this particular day I was doing about 35 as I approached it and slowing to maybe 25 as I neared this curve since it was snowing. I guess the immediate three cars behind me had had enough because they jumped over into the next lane all at once.

Good for them!

If your car and perceived driving skills are so much greater than mine, then don't let my caution stop you. One of them gave me an angry honk as the caravan of speeders passed me by. I think it was the guy in the blue truck, but I couldn't say for sure.

Still when I passed the blue truck facing the wrong direction and piled up with the other two cars as I slowly, carefully and safely made my way through the icy turn, I gave them a polite toot on my car horn as I drove on by.

The lesson is four wheel drive does NOT make you more powerful than nature. And if you still don't believe me, ask these guys.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

...I Broke My Streak for Nothing!...

I had a chance to view all five parts of VH1’s “Undateable” series (“Top 100 things that guys do to guarantee they won’t be dating or having sex”) and nowhere on that list did they mention the guy who called to see if I wanted to go out for a New Year’s Eve.

He was my first date in years. Really. Mostly because I prefer group activities. It makes it easier to ignore the person that starts getting on your nerves. I'm not sure what possessed me to agree to the whole 1:1 thing with this guy last summer, but I did a bad thing, and I was punished for it. On top of that, I broke my extended dateless streak for the worse 40 minutes of my adult life.

I kid you not, the first words out of his mouth…

Loser: So I hear you work with retards, cripples, and crazies. What’s that like? (smile)
(Help) Me: (blank stare with just a hint of I’m-going-to-stab-you-in-the-eye-now)
Loser: I’m sorry, someone dared me to say that. So what’s the politically correct term? Like, what do y’all call ‘em?
(Help) Me: “People” We call them people.
Loser: Oh, all right.

Crappy idle chatter ensues and I try to move to something that I thought was impossible to screw up: music.

(Help) Me: Last five CDs you bought.
Loser: You mean, paid cash for?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

...This is Some Great Advice...

This is at least a year old by now but I just found it and thought it was great advice and a nice reminder for the new year.
If the first thing that comes to your mind when someone mentions "special purpose" is Steve Martin in "The Jerk," then this should help you with the second thing that comes to you.

Get Schooled NY - Pharrell from Get Schooled on Vimeo.