Wednesday, January 30, 2013

...This is What *NOT* to Do...

I saw something horrible this weekend.

Worse than those awful non-pants that all the girls are (not) wearing today.

I won’t go into detail about what it was that I saw because frankly I’m ashamed that I witnessed it in the first place. Odds are you saw it, too unless you tried to avoid it like I so unsuccessfully managed.

But mostly I don’t want to give it any more attention than it was apparently begging to get.

It was one of those sarcastic, “I bet your mother is really proud of you” moments. My mom told me later that she didn’t have a mother.

Well, everyone technically has a mother, but her mother left her when she was very young so I guess that explains it.

It was also one of those, “you don’t have a friend in the world, do you?” moments because no real friend would have ever, ever let this happen.

Anyway, I’ll just go straight to the life lesson on this one:

Sunday, January 27, 2013

...They Wanna Act Stupid...

...gun-butt that fool!

We’ve all seen the Sesame Street version, but the ponies are new to me.The synching on this is impressive.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

...We Can Just Be Friends...

There was some conversation and media coverage about Malia and Sasha Obama flirting with a boy at their father’s inauguration on Monday.

That’s not my word, “flirting” but that’s what I keep hearing and reading. I guess because, you know, people don’t stand next to each other smiling and laughing unless they’re trying to show the other person that they’re interested.

Or unless they’re high, so I guess it’s better that someone assumed it was flirting and not cannabis that they were engaging in.

Turns out the little cutie in question was a first cousin.

And even if he wasn’t a relative, can I remind you that guys and girls can be just friends.

I think I’m in a shrinking minority with that opinion but I still believe it’s possible to smile at someone without it being an invitation to whatever.

On the other hand these days, there’s no smile required. Just a text or two.

My mom has me sort of hooked on Catfish. Not the food, the TV show.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

...I'm So Happy I Found This...

Another VHS tape I can toss out. Many thanks to Mrsspecbluesmith for the upload.

I still remember sitting in the living room stifling enthusiastic screams of undying love for Boyz II Men. Even my parents enjoyed this performance.


Wednesday, January 16, 2013

...The Flu Shot Might Not Be For You...

This past Saturday the temperature got up all the way up to 58 and in Michigan that’s hoodie and flip-flop weather for some folks.

And yet…

(Jimmy Kimmel Live presents LA Overreacts to the “Cold” Weather)

It’s funny because it’s true. Those Californians thought they were mighty funny with the tweets when we had that minor earthquake in Michigan last year(?).

Yeah, well, who’s laughing now?

Fifty-something in January is enough to make certain Midwest populations considering streaking through the local park.

Which is probably why so many more people had a cold, maybe even the flu when Monday rolled around. I sat next to and two over from some hacking, sneezing messes for two hours in a closed door meeting.

Have you any idea how hard it is to hold your breath for two hours? Darn near impossible.

Both of these folks had taken a flu shot, too. And one of them advocates heavily for flu shots being a requirement for all staff.

She always looks at me when she brings it up because I’m an outspoken opponent.

Naturally, my job offers free flu shots to all employees.

So for my first year here, I’m thinking, “well maybe… okay, it’s free, why not?”

Sunday, January 13, 2013

...It's A-u-t-omatic...

I'm always getting Prince songs stuck in my head but they're not always so easy to find online.

Thanks to Videodrome for finding and posting the original promo clip for Automatic.

Now if I could just find Tambourine somewhere online that should last me until the next Prince earworm strikes.

PRINCE - Automatic (Original Promo Video, LP Mix) from Videodrome Discothèque on Vimeo.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

...I'll Be Brief...

Before we get started, I think I need to make a clarification about last week’s post.

When I suggested that we make this the year of being connected, I didn’t mean to go out and attach yourself to strangers.

Please do not dry hump the person in front of you while in line at the grocery store.

If you are close enough to someone to accidentally end up in a kiss or swap any body fluids at all, please step back a foot or two. I don’t know what this thing is about lack of personal space, but please let it end soon.

I’ve had people standing on top of me at the cash register, at ATMs, in the ladies room…

Okay, well not the last one but at the rate things are going it’s only a matter of time before I’m telling the truth about that.

I’ve tried “accidentally” bumping into folks, putting my cart between us then rolling backwards, and oops! – Sorry, didn’t mean to cough in your face like that. I was trying to turn my head, you know, and didn’t realize you were so close. (and do you know that lady just wiped her face and kept standing elbow to elbow with me)

Just know that I’m paranoid, jumpy, have a huge need for personal space and I carry pepper spray.

Wow. That was longer than what I originally wrote for this week but I had to say it.

Now that that’s out the way, I’d like to try an experiment I saw on TV recently. You’ve probably heard of this or tried it yourself maybe, but this will be my first go at it, so try not to laugh.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

...No One is *This* Lazy...

Another unbelievable, random find on the search for something else.

Presenting the world's shortest escalator.... Because walking down five steps is entirely too much work.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

...There's More than One Way to Stay Connected...

For the second year in a row, all I wanted for Christmas was peace on earth, goodwill toward men, and for nobody to get on my nerves.

I got some other stuff instead.

It was a pretty nice haul, but the two standouts for me were the most surprising gift and the most fun and endearing gift.

The winner for most surprising gift goes to the Nook HD

Yes, I know. Ms Anti-Technology, would-rather-chain-herself-to-a-pile-of-dusty-library-books-than-go-digital got an eReader. I didn’t ask for it, wasn’t expecting it, and stared at it for some minutes before I was able to fully grasp what I was holding in my hands.

I must admit it’s pretty nice. It can do almost anything I would normally do from a computer including surf the web, listen to online radio (I already had a Pandora account), and stream movies (likewise on the Netflix account) but reading on that thing was an adjustment.

I’m still the same kid that will print things I find online because I find it easier to read on paper.

So at least this saves me paper and ink. And it’s kind of cool to not have to get up to shut off the light when I’m ready to nod off with tired eyes after some bedtime reading, even if it's still strange to tap your way to the next page, or make a bookmark with a finger swipe.

I vowed to never give in and buy one for a whole slew of reasons. (Two cheers for the library and boo-hiss those overpriced eBooks that costs the publisher next to nothing to create.)

Still I love and appreciate the thought and the effort, and received the gift graciously. I have been playing around with it mercilessly discovering what it can do. And I’ve finished two books already (Booky Wook 2 and an old favorite, The Coldest Winter Ever) and am searching for a third worth the purchase (Mustaine: A Heavy Metal Memoir is a contender)

The prize taker for the most fun and endearing gift sat opposite the Nook with something of a smug smile.