Wednesday, February 27, 2013

...Sometimes I'm Wrong, and Sometimes...

This time last week my mom drove herself to the emergency room.

After a few weeks of pain that no one could seem to determine the cause of, she finally decided it was worth the trip. This was a sure sign to the rest of us that something was really wrong since mom’s pain tolerance is off the chart but we had to remain cool because Mom can’t stand panicky people.

She called very late Wednesday to let me know she was still waiting to talk to one of the doctors. Thursday morning I got to work and had just missed a call from her. She left a very casual message on my voicemail about having been admitted and that she was scheduled for surgery that afternoon.

“If you want to call me back, I’m at…”

That’s a direct quote. As if I was going to decide, “Nah, I don’t want to call back.”

I called back immediately, got the details, called my sister to report, then fled from the office for the longest drive ever to the hospital.

She was watching something like People’s Court when I got there. She was supposed to be telling me what was wrong and what the surgery was about but she kept stopping to comment about the people on the show.

We talked like she wasn’t in a hospital gown with an IV drip next to her bed.

At noon they came to take her to pre-op and I walked down with her. The little transporter guy appeared to be about 10 years old. My mom says that’s a sign of aging: when everyone starts to look extra young to you.

I must be aging rapidly.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

...This is the Remix...

The Elmo remix.

There's simply no good reason why this version of Alicia Keys’ “Fallin’” didn’t get much radio play.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

... If You Just Smile...

My dad and my grandmother both used to say “a smile makes a difference.”

They said it in the same context but with different motivations.

My grandmother meant smile as in it will light up your face and make you pretty. “People will like you more even if they don’t know why.”

My father meant smile as in appearing more approachable. And then he would warn me to be careful who I smile at to avoid being approached by the wrong someone.

One day when I was about 7, I was walking across a street with my sister on the way to school. I remember seeing a guy in his car at the stoplight who looked like on a stress scale of 1 to 10- 10 being on the verge of his head exploding- he was coming in at about a 19.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

...Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone...

Bits and pieces of this performance have been floating around for years, but I was finally able to track down the full Bill Withers BBC performance. ... Perfect Sunday entertainment.

Don't thank me, thank Steve Midgley for posting.


00:00:00:00 Ain`t No Sunshine
00:03:18:11 Lonely Town, Lonely Street
00:09:14:16 Grandma`s Hands
00:11:40:18 Use Me
00:16:01:00 Let Me In Your Life
00:20:15:18 Lean On Me
00:24:47:08 Harlem
00:29:19:00 end

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

...Eight is Enough...

It was a fairly ordinary weekend right up until I set myself on fire.
I was sending out my valentines and excited to use some new sealing wax I bought to stamp double hearts on the envelopes. Most waxes are dark colors like gold, bronze, or silver, but I found a package of bright colors and for a lot less than most places were selling it for.

Once I opened them I realized they didn’t have a wick. No matter, who needs it?

I selected a lovely pink color, took a lighter to it and poof! - - The whole stick caught fire.

A big chunk fell off almost immediately, and rolled over the knuckle of my index finger and then down between my first and second finger, pinged the hem of my shirt and landed on the floor, still a tiny flaming ball of wax.

I patted my tummy and stomped the floor (thank you yoga = plantar fasciitis = always wearing shoes around the house now) The tee was miraculously unharmed, but I can’t say the same for my fingers.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

...This Changed My Mind...

I’m not really an Odd Future fan. And I can only take The Internet is small doses, but sometimes two things you don’t care for much can get together and make something you really enjoy.

Like two ugly people having a cute baby. And that’s not directed at anyone in particular, I’m just using it as an example, okay?

Anyway, this is awesome. I'm looking forward to the official release later this summer.
(The Internet f/ Syd the Kyd and Matt Martian live at KEXP )

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

...Your Business is Failing...

Last week when Applebees fired a server for posting a customer’s bill online,  I was surprised at how many people were mad at the restaurant about it.

The customer tab in question belonged to a pastor who later claimed that she did not want the waitress fired by was lodging a complain about the receipt being made public.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Exhibit A
I’m on the fence about whether or not the waitress should have been fired. This is one those situations where my Dad would say, “you got in trouble for being stupid.”

The whole thing could have been avoided with one very simple step: a crop.

All “Chelsea” had to do before she was so quick to post the receipt was cut off, block out or otherwise remove the signature from sight.

If the signature wasn’t on the photograph of the receipt, the Pastor’s name wouldn’t be out there and she probably wouldn’t have responded the way she did. And even if she had responded, the waitress could always deny everything. The signature was the proof of the encounter, so the waitress provided ammunition on the pastor’s behalf.

Honestly, I’m guessing any server that would take the trouble to post this because they thought it was “funny” probably didn’t deserve a tip.

I’m a generous tipper, just not an automatic tipper. I know the job is hard, but lots of jobs are hard so that’s no excuse for poor work performance.

A lot of people are saying they won’t eat at Applebees after this and I’m wondering why they were eating there ever. I’ve been there three times in my life and all three times the service was so poor I thought I was going to have to go to the kitchen to pick up my own plate.

Money is too tight these days to do business with places that don’t know how to treat a customer.

Rule one is, Don’t staff your business with morons.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

...That Dude Looks Like a Lady...

Now you know I have never watched American Idol but I heard about this.  And let me tell you, had "Pepper" made it through I might have given it a shot.