Wednesday, May 29, 2013

...You Would Want to Spend Time with You...

When my dad was a kid he got caught stealing- of all things- an ice cream sandwich.

I don’t think I have to tell you how he got caught. But a short conversation with the store owner gets messy very quickly on a hot day.

He told me the store owner casually stopped him on the way out and held a regular conversation with him. When the ice cream sandwich was good and fully melted down his leg, the owner abruptly ended the conversation with, “Hey, it’s getting close to about the time your dad gets home, isn’t it? I guess you want to beat him there.”

The bad news is that my father did not get to the house before his dad. The good news is he never stole anything ever again. And as a side note, he never cared much for ice cream sandwiches as an adult.

“Dad, really? Ice cream? Not the wisest choice.”

He said he hadn’t planned far enough ahead. Growing up, it was kind of the “in” thing to steal from the neighborhood store, but kids just kind of went in and spilled out in every direction. Somehow he ended up heading for ice cream.

For my mom the dumb “in” thing for kids was fruit throwing. You find a house with a fruit tree in the yard, steal the fruit, then throw it at the house.

“I remember doing it, and the whole time thinking, ‘this isn’t fun. Is this supposed to be fun?’”

So why’d you do it? I wondered.

“Just what kids did, I guess.”

Mom ended up spending more time with, and eventually moving in with her great aunt. It gave her a place to do the things she really enjoyed like reading, playing with paper dolls, and practicing baton twirling. Another reason to be so grateful to my great, great aunt.

For me, it was aimlessly roaming the mall for boys.

I hated the mall. I hated boys. And to this day I hate wandering aimlessly just to look for whatever I might find. But that’s what you did on the weekends. Go in and out of stores being as loud and obnoxious as possible and laughing at everything in order to appear happy and rebellious in hopes of attracting some stupid big head boy with your pseudo free-spiritedness.

As if boys at that age even knew what that was, what it meant, or what to do with it.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

... That *Was* the Voice...

I was sad to see Josiah Hawley leave The Voice this past week, but I was really mad to see Kris Thomas get the boot.

Josiah didn’t have the strongest vocal ability but he had an interesting sound and he had stage presence that no one, especially the ladies, could ignore. He was certainly a better singer than at least two other people I can think of still in the running. Watching Josiah perform makes you smile.

My dear Kris was something  special.  I turn my back to the TV during the blind auditions for the full effect and I loved his voice. Any chick that could take on a Whitney Houston song and sound like that has my vote. Turns out that lady was a dude.

Not since my early introduction to Enchantment’s Gloria had I been so enthusiastically befuddled. I was confused, and I liked it.

But  I should have known early on that he wouldn’t win since the old school soul sounding singers might get far, but never quite far enough.

There are a few good people left, but I have my flag up for one in particular.

I tell you, if Michelle Chamuel  gets voted off, I don’t know if there will be another reason for me to keep watching…except maybe to see if Pharrell pops up again. (Hint to producers should they need a coach replacement. He’s pretty good, and no one will miss Christina shooting down contestants not on her team)

…except maybe to see if Pharrell pops up again. (Hint to producers should they need a coach replacement. He’s pretty good, and no one will miss Christina shooting down contestants not on her team)

And those coach and team performances would completely rock (even if it's more coach than team)-

Have a Happy and Safe Memorial Day weekend!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

...It Was the Best Prom Ever...

This is one of those stories that turned out so deliciously well, you wouldn't believe it, but I promise you it's true.

In high school I was on the prom committee. Helped pick the song, the colors, the décor theme, and the menu.

I had three dresses picked out and eventually settled on this cute little swingy A-line dress with a v-neck. It was black with the slightest hint of changing color under the right light. This was kind of a big deal for my mom to approve a black dress for me, so I was excited.

My sister helped me with hair styling ideas. And you know me well enough to know that make up was out of the question, but I did my nails which at the time was something I never did.

It was –as so many high school seniors believe- shaping up to be the best night of my entire life.

Too bad I missed it.

My boyfriend decided to take someone else and I turned down Dad’s offer of a movie in favor of staying in with a good book.

So in case you’re trying to figure that out, let me fill you in.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

...All these Years Later, It's Still Moving...

Satie is one of my favorite classical composers if you can call him that.
He had a futuristic thing I can’t put my finger on but he managed to sound traditional and like nothing you ever heard at the same time.

Gymnopedies is one of my favorite suites and I have never heard this version of Gymnopedie No 1 before in my life but it just goes to show how a well written piece of music will always remain beautiful.

Recorded in 1974 here is Hubert Laws – Gymnopedie No 1 (written in 1888 by Erik Satie)

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

...I'm Locked and Loaded, People ...

Remember this great scene from the movie Lean On Me?

Rage and Anger are like crack. Some people seem to really love it though it’s a slow, horrible way to die.

You must give up your addiction to being a miserable old biddy if you wish to live a full happy life, or you might as well go ahead and jump off of something and get it over with.

Wherever you are and however bad it is, you are not alone. You don’t get to be a nasty individual just because you think your bad day was worse than the next person. We don’t leave the house in the morning receiving telegrams that say:

Today is Your Day to be a Big, Obnoxious, B--- to Everyone You Encounter today! Congratulations!
Now go out and take your misguided anger out on innocent bystanders.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

...This Was Good Timing...

I haven't watched the Tonight Show in years.

Even if I happen to be up late enough to catch it, either the TV's not on or if it is, it's probably on the Weather Channel so I can plan for the next day.

But I was up late this night, on the phone entirely too long having a stupid argument with someone I don't much care for anyway.

When I finally hung up I sat for a minute trying regain a sense of calm so I could try and get some sleep.  Then I did the last thing I would ever do to be "calm" and flipped on the TV just as this segment was starting.

This couple pleasantly surprised us all not only with their talent but their obviously compatibility.

They were so good, they were invited to sing with the band for the evening.

(Pumpcast News - Will & Monifa)

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

... This Makes You Beautiful...

When I was in junior high there was this girl that I’ll call Maureen.

Maureen was a nice girl if you knew her but not very friendly if you didn’t. I thought she was pretty because she was my friend and I liked her but I would venture to say that other people probably found her at least stereotypically pretty: light skin, light eyes, long hair that was super thick and kind of wavy and just the color brown I always wanted for my own hair (I hated having jet black hair back then.) She wore it in one long braid every single day. Until one day she came to school with a halfway cute bob.

And a black eye.

And a few other cuts and bruises.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

...If The Price is Right...

In honor of the NRA convention this weekend and all those bought and bossed cheap whores, I mean, senators that voted against background checks for gun buyers, I thought I’d share this dancing puppet video.

Go ‘head puppet, get your strings pulled! Shake it!

I should clarify that I am not suggesting that these individuals are dancing puppets. And I shouldn't call them cheap since I don't know how much they were paid.
Plus, it's just not nice to talk about people. Especially people who might have guns, likely haven’t had their backgrounds checked,  and are allegedly dealing with unaddressed mental health issues.

I would like to conclude by sharing this classic gun safety presentation

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

…”It keeps a moment from running away”…

I keep telling friends that I need to get a dashboard cam.

Every day on the way to work I pass a house with live peacocks strolling around the front yard and no one believes me.
On the way home there’s a tree with a man cut into it. I could never properly describe this to you; it truly has to be seen to be believed.
But I’m not dexterous or foolish enough to try and take the photo while I handle my car so for now, these things remain a myth I made up until I provide photographic evidence otherwise.
Almost everyone has a camera these days, and they’re not afraid to use it, sometimes for good and sometimes for bad.
Odd life photos, pictures from space, surgical cameras, friends and family members show us a slice of life we might never be able to experience firsthand. We learn how big and small our world is. We can truly share a smile.
Yet, there have always been questionable moments. From smiling faces giving the thumbs up with lynched and burned bodies hanging in the background to morons taping and posting fights or other illegal behavior on to controversial even if informative photos from R. Umar Abbasi, Frank Fournier, Kevin Carter, and Robert Wiles.